Poetry / This One

Eyes open
Like suns over horizons
I’m left of the feeling of being desponded.
Broken mirrors reasseamble
And tears dry like new pavement
Covering up the rugged
I must say this
Before any friction befalls these plates
Only tectonics can keep space
Listen closely my dear,
I’m dead serious
I’ve never felt this alive.

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Reviews

December 07, 2007

abeautifulmind2

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
12	100.0% (1 votes)	100.0%

personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
40	F	Saint Clair, MI	April 15

abeautifulmind2 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I must say I am impressed by the quality of this writing considering your young age. I think I would change “suns over horizons”, it doesn’t flow as nicely as it could. The next line would sound smoother if it were “my feelings of despondency have left me”. Other than that, I really like this. It feels like a rebirth of spirit. Good luck!