Journal, Diary, & Blogging / The Best Feeling

Have you ever wondered whether or not you would ever find love?? Well… I am here to say that I thought it would never happen to me and GREAT things come to those who wait… it came while I wasn’t even looking… this prince of a guy… “Thomas” is the best man in the whole world.. he is an angel… truly… I thank God everyday that he is a part of my life… When we both realized we were in love, it clicked… it is not just teenage angst… it is love… the real thing. My worst fear is that he is going to die… he has type 1 diabetes and I just found out that he has cancer… I love him more than myself and I can’t dream of losing him just after I found him. I am ready to love him more than he has ever been loved and I plan to stick with him every step of the way… He isn’t going anywhere… I just want people to know that love will conquer all things and faith can lead you to so much more… This doesn’t need to be anything more than a small reminder that life is not just some meaningless thing that forces us to be in pain… it can be beautiful and loving and great… just wait for it and it will come…

Love,
Hardcore Writer…

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Reviews

April 02, 2008

Haley

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
0	0.0% (0 votes)	0.0%

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Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
19	F	Garland, TX	December 19

Haley reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I can understand that feeling. But what do you mean by waiting? Thats the part I didnt really get. Your 15, correct? This shouldnt be your priority. You dont understand what it means to have to wait. I cant even say I do. As far as he goes, I hope he gets better.

-Haley

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March 07, 2008

andra

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
0	95.0% (20 votes)	0.0%

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
25	F	New Zealand	May 18

andra reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

This is a very honest, simple piece which is very encouraging. I think it is one where the old “show, don’t tell” maxim may be applicable – you don’t actually tell the reader anything about Thomas other than his medical problems. What has he done that makes him “an angel”, why do you love him? Your feelings are obviously very heartfelt but you have the remember that the reader doesn’t know him.
You have the beginnings of a good shape to this – the start where you declare your love, the middle where you reveal your worries, and then an optimistic ending. I think you should work on this structure – start by splitting the piece into paragraphs based on the above, and then expand on each point you make with an example.