Poetry / Mirror, Mirror

Here,  rhyme is quaint  and rhythm nicely  worked – although  a little loose, it is used to very  good effect.
The charm of this poem is  in showing both sides of its  central conceit : the   fairytale promise of love.
We are led quickly and clevery to the theme from the opening line but this is not  just the pointless repetition of  well known phrases  but the  delineation enjambement and presentation  of   “what sadnesss makes a princess weep “.
So we know soon enough  that  fairytales haven’t come true ; at least not this one.
The allure of them is, however very strong; after all – “ Gold”  might     “ reside  in the cold and damp.  “  
However,we are cautioned  do not be so sure – time is against the speaker   now,  in a ‘pumkin coach’  turn from Cinderella but  reminiscent of   Marlowe’s ‘winged chariot’ :  one feels it really it is at your heels now; both the narrators and the poems – which,if intended, was well devised.

Thus, quite tragically  and not without beauty we are swept fairy tale like  from  where once New Worlds, wonderful worlds once of love and trust, were  revealed to the narrator ; but  now by these same  stories  fantasies and beliefs  their heart is broken.  
And  that finality is brought home   as cruelly and  impartially as fate  in  the last couplet : a  repetition of “I wish I could have known “
How true : And how well turned  into verse.

I am sorry to have been so rushed but I did appreciate your work very much.
M.P  4 minutes

Yes! I loved this poem! I loved how each stanza perfectly rhymed and you kept a steady upbeat pace. Reading it aloud almost makes you want to flourish your hands and bellow it majectically to the sky. Bravo! You are exceptional thus far.

I love how you mixed all the fairy tales together, it goes nicely. The rhyme scheme isn’t continuous but the words flow smoothly and i applaud you. The only thing i would change is the ending, maybe add another couple of lines to wrap it up, the repeat of words doesn’t sit well with me. I guess you can say it is a couplet but if i were you i would add the lines.
Other than that superb poem, i enjoyed reading it.

A great part of this poem is its connection to memory. In the first stanza that is the main topic addressed, and you maintain it without repeating it over and again, but by giving images of childhood through all the fairytale references. What I would like changed is more closer at the end. It’s very open, and I want to know what you do. Though that does create a nice contrast as fairytales usually have happy endings with a lesson learned, and your poem is open ended with the reader questioning. I still prefer things to be wrapped up. It’s a frightening social concept all to common in modern/post-modern (more so post-modern) writing where we are left with nothing, but our own thoughts in an inconclusive ending because they think life is an enigma. Even a sad ending is better than no ending.

I don’t see much continuity between the stanzas. While each in it’s own right has nice phrasing and paint very nice word pictures, I don’t find a theme that binds it all together.
Then again, perhaps that is the beauty of this piece.

I liked the way each verse had a different rhyme scheme. Creative. It very fantasy-like. Almost like one of those fantasy video games (i.e. Zelda).

this is a really good poem. i’ve said this many times, i am not a fan of rhyming poetry. i just think its too forced. but this poem says alot. the descriptions and the figuraive language is really well done. it holds the poem together nicely. however…i did not like the 2 repeating last lines. the whole poem was amazing and i always expect the last line to really punch…but it didn’t. i think you should try different endings. because this poem DEFINITELY has potential. it reminds me of childhood. its REALLY good. honestly. i enjoyed reading it.

Excellent rhythm.  Rhyming didn’t give any clue of “novice”.  I was enthralled after the first stanza.  One thing though, I wish you would have relayed (at least a bit) what it was the subject wishes to have known.

i had to re-read it multiple times. i think i know what it means to me, but i have no idea what you are really trying to say to me. abstract, but nonetheless appreciated. words only travel the path that you let them and i think you tried to make my mind wander on this one. bueno

This poem is excellent and I found no glaring errors.  Your talent as a poet is obvious and will only get better with time…just like fine wine. I hope that you will write as often as possible.