Children's / Mice City

It wa simply amazing how well it flows. I am still impressed by the techinique the writer applied. The alliteration is so present and match perfectly in every line , like a chain.
I’d like to read the book with the pictures. Although is for children I think is so creative and the end is very meaningful, despite the fact that the audience are children—of course
Great masterpiece. Keep writing. That was really professional.

For something that has already been published I think you did a terrible job of writing the synopsis.  The sentence…In this one-of-a-kind incredible adventure Harold, a humble farmer is out driving his tractor minding his own when all of the sudden the ground beneath him shakes and crumbles beneath him, he and his tractor plummet to the bottom of  seemingly endless pit…is not only too long but has several errors in it ie: minding his own WHAT.  I would think that a published author could do much better.  Also could you possibly add a few more rating categories???

Well, since you have already been published I scored you highly on all the publishing goals. However I looked up Publish America and noticed that they have a little bit of controversy around them. As for the piece as presented it definately needs editing. I would not use beneath twice in the same sentence, also “realizes” is spelled incorrectly. I would use a different term besides “seemingly endless pit” because I think children will have trouble understanding it.
With proper editing this does sound like a decent children’s story. Good luck on the career.

A synopsis would give an outline of the entire story. This is an introduction. Make it even shorter, and you would have a blurb for the story.

I must say that I hope the story is not as poorly proofread as your “synopsis”.

Proofreading notes:
crumbles beneath him, he and his tractor plummet (comma splice)
When he comes to he reaslizes he is in an underground cave, he grabs a flashlight = When he comes to, he realizes he is in an underground cave. He grabs . . .
In a distance he saw = In THE distance he sees (Why do you change to the past tense here?)
and could hear small commotion (can hear a small commotion)
and saw something = sees
In general, you need to go through and make this whole “synopsis” present tense or past tense (but not mixed).

Well I went to the site mentioned above and I got a “Joke/Shake” virus alert. That sucks. I read that you have a more professional synopsis on your site, which is good, as the one posted seems to have a few grammar errors. Also I dont know anything about farmers, but it seemed a little convenient that he had a flashlight on his tractor. Also, there are a lot of mouse/mice stories out there, so this would have a lot of competition. You will definitely have to have something unique to stand out. Its almost like one of those stories meets “alice in wonderland” as she falls thru the hole. Its cool you do your own illustrations.

I think this is a very cute storyline. It would be great if you did something to the effect oh him building little mice tools and giving them to the mice to help them out, and then it would be like everyone works together. It would have a little moral stuck in there too. Well, i hope that you have luck keeping the story flowing, but i dont think that you will have any trouble, the storyline is very open to changes and twists and such.

love it. the word ‘incredible’ jumped out at me, maybe another word choice? irrelevant to the poem. i really enjoyed the twist of fate harold faces at the very end. godspeed.

(minor grammatical errors hold back the publishable category)

Cute idea for a story line for a children’s’ book.  Watch past and present tense (you used is and was in the example), careful of repeating yourself – “all of the sudden the ground beneath him shakes and crumbles beneath him”.  You will need to get much more descriptive to keep the interest up.  Good luck