Poetry / Tiny life
Tiny life struggles to live. Drawing a first breath. Wonder of the her parents world. Innocence and wonder light her eyes and soul. Fresh new existence. Fresh new experiences. One parent vows to love and protect. One plots for lost innocence. Baby steps through a world fresh and bright. Baby steps through lost innocence. Baby steps into degradation.
Tiny soul struggles to live. Drawing weary breath after breath. Light of her mother’s world. Adult wisdom and pain flow from her eyes and soul. Painful existence. Degrading experiences. One parent nurtures and cherishes. One gives no worth. Adult steps through doubt. Steps of pain and worthlessness.
Tiny life. Pinpoint of light. Fighting for strength. Searching for truth. Needing love.
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Such a bitter tale of lost innocence. I feel the pain and the despair here. I also feel the faint pulse of hope. Just a slight formatting issue, but it is minor to me at this point with the poem. Specifically the line Wonder of the her parents world. I think the the is extrenuous, no biggie though. I really like this poem. Thank-you for allowing me into this moment and sharing with me your pain.
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This was good overall. At the beginning there should be more desciptive words involving new beginnings… Use your words to create a life cycle. Adjectives, verbs, nouns, and the occational conjunction to mold your thought and send it to your reader.
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