Sci Fi & Fantasy / Messiah Complex Ch. 1 (Analysis)
Sicarii Academy’s brief winter vacation now over, the spring term had begun. The new student rankings were to be posted the following day, but Evangeline wasn’t one to wait for that sort of information—student rankings were one of the most important statistics used to determine future job acquisitions and thus were taken very seriously by all the students at the Academy. Most other students, however, were at least slightly more capable of controlling themselves when it came to the matter than Evangeline. With more than a bit of cajoling, she finally convinced Tancho and Eric to join her on a high-stakes expedition into the faculty office complex. After a couple sleepless nights watching the servants tiredly tap away at the electronic lock, Evangline had obtained the entrance code; they were ready to begin.
It was getting late. The electric torches on the wall threw their shadows along the stone floor. The walls weren’t insulated, and the cold only helped the already impressive acoustics. Luckily, the trio was wearing their Softsteps, ‘borrowed’ from the training room, so they felt little trepidation about being discovered. Step by step they crept along the wall, passing row upon row of tapestries and wall hangings. They were getting close—Evangeline motioned them close.
“So far so good. Scholar Rothskar’s office is just around this corner; now we just need to get in and…”
“What? Rothskar?” Eric bemoaned, anticipating the additional punishments they’d incur if they were caught. “Damn it Eva, you didn’t mention anything about it being in Satan’s office.”
Evangeline shrugged.
“I guess I forgot. Maybe I figured you’d piss your pants if I told you, then you’d spend the next few hours picking out a new outfit and we’d never end up finding out who is the top ranked!”
“No, actually, we’d find out tomorrow. Why can’t you wait like everyone else, Eva? This is dumb,” Eric retorted, his irritation increasingly evident in his voice. “If I get caught for this, I promise you that I’ll…”
“Shut up.” Tancho intervened. “Keep quiet. Let’s just get this over with and head back.”
They continued on, stopping once they reached the end of the hall and peering around the corner. A faint light glowed from within the Scholar’s office, but a daring glance through the glass door settled their stomachs a bit and informed them of Rothskar’s absence.
“Right, it’s like we expected, he’s on his tobacco break,” Evangeline whispered.
Rothskar didn’t set the electronic lock before heading outside for his smoke, and Eric did the honors of pulling the door open. Evangeline, too excited to wait, roughly shoved Eric away from the door and ran inside.
The room was sparsely furnished; it didn’t take long for Evangeline to scan over the dusty bookshelf, the mahogany wardrobe, and the two armchairs before locking her eyes on the Scholar’s desk to her right. A small lamp sat on top of it, casting a soft glow on an innocuous yellow folder entitled, “Year 357 Spring Rankings,”
Although impatient to the utmost as she rushed to her the prize, Evangeline now savored her anticipation of the results for a moment longer before opening the cover of the folder and scanning for her name, starting at the top.
“I’m First again!” She cooed. She wiggled with joy, and bowed deeply to her compatriots. Eric clapped, and though Tancho rolled his eyes, a whisper of a smile played at the corners of his lips. The smile faded quickly, and his eyes sharpened. Eric stopped clapping when Tancho grasped his arm.
That’s when he heard it.
What had alarmed Tancho only a moment before was the sound of footsteps approaching the office.
Something must have cut Rothskar’s break short; it was normally at least a quarter-hour before he’d return to his office. There was no time to flee; the footsteps had rounded the corner. Tancho rushed toward the old wardrobe standing against the far wall and facing the door through which the three had entered only minutes earlier, and stepped in whilst motioning for his friends to follow suit. It was a big risk—what should happen if Rothskar suddenly decided he missed his coat?—but the old wardrobe was the only spot in the room that could offer the three cover. Evangeline positioned the folder back onto the desk the best she could before being pulled into the wardrobe by Eric. Knocking elbows and stepping on each other’s feet, the three crammed themselves in. And just as the wardrobe’s wooden doors finally clicked shut, the door of the office swung open.
Scholar Rothskar swept in wearing the familiar furrow in his brow, while also looking distinctly agitated. It was soon apparent why: he was not alone. A woman Scholar came in with him and Eric shared a look of surprise with his compatriots as they heard the lady speak. Quite frankly, that Rothskar could even find a woman willing to talk to him was unimaginable in and of itself. Tancho and Eric were able to quietly amuse themselves with this fact in mind, but Evangeline needed to know more. She needed to watch what they were doing. She silently eased the door of the wardrobe open a mere crack and through it, the three watched the scene unfold. It was clearly not a social visit.
“I think this whole matter is going to blow up in our faces. We must reconcile it before it escalades much further. I know you have some influence with the Headmaster, certainly you can make a suggestion to one of the Seven…”
“You exaggerate my influence,” Rothskar said, settling down behind his desk, motioning to the armchair in front of the desk. The woman shook her head, and he continued. “I may have relations with the Kamatari, but beyond that the Seven are just as inaccessible to me as they are to a plebe off the street.”
The trio exchanged glances at the mention of Tancho’s family name.
“But someone has to say something!”
“We can try to speak to the Headmaster about it tomorrow, but I don’t think we’ll see much success. This was conceived a long ways up the food chain, and I’m afraid the best we can do is manage the damage control. And, what makes you think this is such a bad thing? Times change, you know.” Scholar Rothskar’s voice was calm and his body language relaxed, in stark contrast to his impatient companion.
“I’m not some doddering fool,” she snapped. “I can handle my fair share of change, thank you. This isn’t just your average, run-of-the-mill sort of development, Derrick. This is going to unravel all the tradition we’ve built in this school, tradition that has lasted three hundred and fifty-seven years!” Though the woman had not taken the seat offered to her, her fingers digging fiercely into the polished leather as she spoke.
There was the rustling of papers and of a briefcase being opened. Something was wrong. Scholar Rothskar was standing next to his desk, staring down at the folder that Evangeline had placed there.
“What, what is it?” The woman questioned irritably. “Don’t go about ignoring me; you know I have a point…”
Scholar Rothskar’s eyes flicked about the room, and he grinned, turning his attention back to the female Scholar.
“You must excuse me, Myun-Sun, I’m afraid I was lost in thought. I will certainly try talking to the Headmaster tomorrow. It is, after all, the best I can do.”
Scholar Rothskar politely shrugged off the woman’s protests as he began escorting her out of the room, clutching his briefcase in one hand. As he closed the door, he looked to the wardrobe and smiled again. The voices of the two Scholars began to fade as the door creaked shut.
Evangeline, Tancho, and Eric waited a few moments before climbing out of the wardrobe. Evangeline was glowing.
“What is going on? Wow, what could it be? Something big, huge! Do you think something here could tell us more?” She began looking around hungrily. Rothskar had turned off all the lights as he left, so the room was illuminated only by the lanterns in the hall.
“Did you know his first name is Derrick? It’s such a plain name for such an ass.” Eric muttered. “Look, Eva, he took all his papers this time; there’s nothing left. We should leave before the praetors start doing their rounds.”
Tancho was already opening the door, but Evangeline was torn between being abandoned and satiating her curiosity. As Eric left the room, peer pressure won. Pouting, she reluctantly followed them out.
“I really want to know what is going on now. And I mean, who was that woman? Is she a Scholar here? I didn’t recognize her…” she rambled on as they walked off toward the dormitory facility.
The moon was high and full, and the bite of the winter wind chilled Evangeline’s enthusiasm. They slid their ID cards through the reader, and walked through the sliding door into their dormitory. Tancho and Eric paused by their door and bid Evangeline good night.
“Don’t worry Eva, things’ll get clearer soon, I’m sure,” Eric said, noting the sour look on her face. Though clearly still unsatisfied, she nodded as though in agreement and smiled at the two boys as they entered their room.
Evangeline continued along until she reached her quarters. She entered her room, stripped off her outdoor clothing and pulled on her pajamas. Lying down in bed, she fell asleep to the light buzzing of a million questions running about in her mind.
She would not have to wait for long for her answers, however, for the very next day, the Transfer Student arrived at the school of Assassins.
-—--
Eric and Evangline slept peacefully. Meanwhile, Tancho was having nightmares.
They were bizarre in a way that only the subconsious can manage. All about him dozens of people lay prostrate, begging for his blessing and forgiveness. From his vantage point on the throne, Tancho could make out Scholar Rothskar, grinning on the floor. A flash of light, and suddenly an old woman appeared before him, with yellow dribble inching down her chin; she commanded him to choose. Choose what? He wanted to ask, but before he could the old woman burst into flames, and from the burning flesh out stepped his father. Except it was not the father he knew; his smooth asian features were jagged and harsh, as if he had been starved for many years.
“Tancho,” the not-father began. “Born of our flesh and blood; why have you betrayed us?”
A shadow crept up from behind, and Tancho found a knife at his throat. He heard a voice whisper – a voice that carried with it the burden of terrible memories.
It said, “Don’t forget, Tancho. Never forget me.”
A movement, a slicing noise, and Tancho could feel warm blood pooling in his hands as he held them to his throat…
He was lying in a grassy field. He could field Miyzuki by his side. He watched has his girlfriend slowly brushed her chestnut hair. Their eyes met, and hers sparkled playfully. She leaned forward and kissed him; passionately, as if they hadn’t kissed in weeks. She then promptly stabbed him in the chest with a curved blade. As he gasped in shock, she murmured into his ear.
“The grass only grows were your wounds have wept,” she whispered seductively.
Tancho opened his eyes and brought his hands to his head. He found his black hair tangled and matted from the night. Light was beginning to force its way through the violet curtains that covered the windows. The clock read 7:30 AM. A gentle snoring on the other side of the room indicated that Eric was still sleeping soundly in his bed. Glancing over, Tancho watched as his best friend drooled all over his pillow. Eric’s feet stuck out over the edge of the bed, and the covers lay on the floor in a heap. Tall, even for a Nord, Eric couldn’t fit in beds that Tancho thought were enormous.
With little chance of falling asleep again, Tancho stood up and stretched, and looked into the top drawer of his night-stand. Several containers of prescription pills stared back at him. Did I forget to take some last night? He wondered. But no, upon further recollection he remembered that he had taken everything he needed before their late-night excursion. And yet he had dreamed again; something he hadn’t done since he got those pills eleven years ago.
Remembering the dream, Tancho got the urge to see his girlfriend. While searching for appropriate clothing, he dialed her number on his phone. She picked up almost immediately.
“Hello?” She answered breathlessly.
“Hey, it’s me. What are you doing?”
“Ah, I’ve just been working out a bit.”
Tancho smiled into the receiver. School had just got back in today, and already Miyzuki was training.
“Sorry for interrupting,” he said. “I wanted to know if you were hungry; maybe we could get something to eat before classes.”
“Sure! I’m going to take a shower, okay? Meet me at the dining hall in twenty minutes.”
“Okay, will do.”
“I love you,” she whispered shyly.
“I love you too,” Tancho answered. They had only just begun saying it a few weeks ago; it was still new. “Bye.”
Twenty-five minutes later, Tancho stood with his back leaning up against the entrance to the dining hall. Miyzuki ran up, wet hair loose and trailing behind her.
“Sorry I’m late, I…” She began.
“No problem, let’s just get some food.”
Tancho opened the oak door and ushered her inside. They found a table for two near a glass window overlooking the pond, and waited to be served. Tancho began telling Miyzuki about the night’s events.
“Rothskar had a woman in his office?”
“I know, we were all stunned. But there’s a lot more…”
Tancho paused his story has a servant arrived to take their order. After ordering pancakes, several preparations of eggs, some sausage, and orange juice, the servant was dismissed. Tancho continued telling Miyzuki all about the conversation between the two Scholars.
“Argh, I wish I wasn’t at that student council meeting.”
Tancho grimaced and nodded empathetically. Eric, Evangeline and he could avoid the meetings due to their families’ influence, but Miyzuki had to make up for her lineage’s obscurity.
Their food arrived, and the talk was postponed while they both consumed their fill. It was quickly approaching 9:00 AM, so they both began making their way to the Campus Proper. They parted with a kiss in the main hall: Tancho was going to his 3rd year Physics class, and Miyzuki was headed toward her 2nd year Philosophy course. Tancho arrived to find the class mostly seated. Evangeline and Eric waved him over to the front corner of the class, where there were a couple of seats open. Tancho sat down, dreams forgotten, ready to start the new semester.
-—--
In Tibern, the sun would beat down on the marble wall of the Water Palace, but it was always cool inside. It was there, among the menagerie of foreign diplomats and courtiers, that Mpande lived the first sixteen years of his life. It was there at he received special training from his father’s weapon master. The pillars in the great hall were three men across and nearly ten men tall. Mpande would often lie on the floor for hours, staring up at the decorated ceiling. Sometimes he’d grab a servant, and point out all the different creatures he could find in the intricate geometric carvings.
For sixteen years of his life, Mpande enjoyed his homeland, and all the men and beasts within it. Now, for the first time in his life, he found himself in Svalshu, a country of rain, secrets, and assassins. The Scholar motioned to him, beckoning him from the hallway. It was time for introductions.
“This here is Mpande Zulu, and he’s a new student here at Sicarii Academy. The Headmaster has decided that Mpande will be enrolled in this homeroom class. This is a historical event, so I’d like to remind you all to mind your manners and keep in mind…”
The Scholar was droning on, but Mpande could hardly hear over the pounding in his ears. It had been some time since he was this nervous. Never before had he felt more in danger than he did at that moment, standing in front of a room filled with assassins-in-training.
“…So why don’t you go ahead and introduce yourself?” The Scholar finished.
Mpande glanced around the room. Everyone had curious looks on their faces, though there were a wide variety of additional emotions boiling through the swath of plain interest: surprise, anger, amusement, and a great deal of caution. He took a deep breath, and began.
“Hello, I’m Mpande Zulu, and as I understand I’m the first foreigner to set foot within the Sicarii Academy. I’m very honored to have the opportunity to learn with the rest of you, and on behalf of the royal family of Tibern, I greet you all as friends.”
He hoped the formal greeting would have a positive effect, but the mood of the room shifted very little. He was directed by the Scholar to a seat next to a lanky blonde girl, who was now sporting an excited grin. There, it seemed, he had a chance at making headway.
“Evangeline Hapsburg.” She said, shaking his hand. “Pretty dry introduction. Maybe we can talk a bit more about where you’re from after we…”
Before she could go further, the Scholar began speaking again.
“Alright, before we go on, I want to mention that the school rankings will be posted out in the hallway by the end of the period, so you’ll all just have to wait.”
The class groaned.
“I am supposed to mention, however, that we have in our class the first and second ranked assassins. Congratulations Evangeline Hapsburg and Eric Oldenburg.”
Mpande watched as an orange haired boy with fair skin received congratulatory slaps on the back and a spattering of applause. Many of the students appeared to be avoiding Evangeline’s, however.
Great, Mpande thought bitterly. It looks like my first ‘friend’ is an outcast.
The class settled down, and the learning began. The Scholar began discussing the simpler details of projectile motion, with the promise that they would eventually link it to the flight of arrows and throwing knifes. The students had taken out their tablet computers and styluses, and were in the process of copying down the information on the board for later absorption when the bell rang. The Scholar blinked.
“Ah, well, we must have taken a bit too long on the introductions and such. We’ll have to make up for lost ground already,” he muttered, flipping through a large text. “Read section twelve through section fifteen of chapter seven before we meet again on Wednesday.”
The dismay of the students was muffled by the scraping of chairs and the scuffling of feet as the class of ten stood up and ran out into the hall. A sizable group of other 3rd years were already standing around the message board, peering nervously at the posted rankings. Mpande began drifting toward the group as well, if only because the tide of students was pulling him there. A tap on his shoulder had him turning around to face Eric.
“Hi there Mpande! Don’t bother with that business just yet. After all, you haven’t been ranked yet, so it’d hardly be worth the trouble swimming through that lot, now would it?” His eyes crinkled at the edges, and his lips were turned up in a smile. “Why don’t you come along with me, Tancho, and Eva? Tancho already had breakfast, but I’m sure you’re starving as much as Eva and I are. We have enough time before the next class.”
Mpande was wary of associating with Evangeline, who he now considered a pariah, but Eric’s smile was disarming. Mpande soon found himself walking behind the trio as Evangeline grilled him for answers.
“Do you have any siblings?”
“Two younger sisters.”
“I’ve seen some pictures of Tibern, it’s mostly desert, isn’t it?”
“It has its sandy parts. There are rivers though, and where there is water, there’s life.”
“Like I said, I saw some pictures, but you look way darker than any Tibernian I’ve ever seen! Is that a royal trait?”
Mpande smiled.
“Yes, for generations the royal family of Tibern has been marked by dark skin. It is a proud legacy of our ancestry.”
Evangeline grinned.
“Yeah, for us Hapsburgs it’s all about being boisterous!”
“You mean annoying,” Tancho muttered.
Evangeline laughed.
“Well, if I were Asian and a sourpuss, then I’d have to call myself Evangeline Kamatari.”
Even Tancho joined in on the laughter. Chatting together, the four walked to the dining hall to get some food. The heavy oak doors of the dining hall were in view when a voice spoke through the PA system.
“Mpande Zulu, please report to Room 215 in the Training Facility for ranking evaluation. Tancho Kamatari, please accompany to aide in evaluation.”
The message was repeated again, and the four students exchanged confused glances. No one had ever needed a ‘make-up test’ for their ranking before. Abandoning their quest for food, they made their way to the Training Facility, nervous to find out what sort of examination awaited them.
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Evangeline is spelled Evangline on the first page. This is really cool, but what time period is this in? Is it 21st century? That is a little confusing. When writing you want the readers to see what you are seeing as you write your story so some descriptive factors here and there would be okay just don’t overdo it. When the new student introduces himself he says that he is the first foreigner. If Tancho is Asian how can the new student be a foreigner? That is one detail that might need explaining. Is he foreign because he is from a different land? Where does this take place? What is the name of the city the academy is in? It doesn’t have to be anything descriptive; just the name. This is a good read because it leaves the reader wanting more.
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A very good story line,grabs the interest from the outset.A good job of describing the characters,making them seem vibrant and alive.The grammer and spelling are good.The two characters Evangeline and Tancho stand out really well.The Sicarii Assasins School?Hmnnnnn!!Most interesting.
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