Haiku/Senryu / Children

You have no way of knowing if the object of this affection has, or will ever read this brilliant rensaku. Good luck!

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January 29, 2008

by sharkseek

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157	90.0% (10 votes)	18.3%

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52	F	Ponca City, OK	November 02

thank you so very much for your kind words in reviewing my work!

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A very romantic set of triple haikus. I’m not too convinced by the line “you touch my music” since it seemed a little too abstract in this context. Some of the poetic language seems a little awkward as well. Making it a direct message to someone might increase its impact.

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December 28, 2007

by sharkseek

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52	F	Ponca City, OK	November 02

thanks for taking time to review my work!

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these are all very endearing. i bet you do well with short stories, too. :) great job! :)

Nice work. This writing describes the overpowering effect children have over us adults. They work their magic, don’t they? The musical terms were a nice touch as well.

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December 20, 2007

by sharkseek

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52	F	Ponca City, OK	November 02

thanks so much for your kind review!

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pretty the child that grows up with that type of love. Enjoyed it very much.

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December 20, 2007

by sharkseek

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157	90.0% (10 votes)	18.3%

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52	F	Ponca City, OK	November 02

thanks so much, i’m glad you enjoyed it!

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Nice. A moody and classical three-parter writ in elegance and brilliance.

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December 15, 2007

by sharkseek

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52	F	Ponca City, OK	November 02

thank you so much for your kind review!

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This one just touches your heart.

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December 13, 2007

by sharkseek

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52	F	Ponca City, OK	November 02

thanks!

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I respect the message but it seems a little bit amateur and without flow.

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December 13, 2007

by sharkseek

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157	90.0% (10 votes)	18.3%

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52	F	Ponca City, OK	November 02

thanks for taking time to review my work

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Those are all very beautiful.

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December 13, 2007

by sharkseek

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
157	90.0% (10 votes)	18.3%

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52	F	Ponca City, OK	November 02

thank you so much for your kind words!

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Great job.  I don’t much know how to critique a haiku, but it was beautiful and I enjoyed reading it.