I agree. For me, that was crap! lol I don’t review my work anymore, until I’ve posted it. You should check it out now. I think it’s cool ;)
Mwah!
C. Anne
Poetry / The Addict
With love, I have extended my arm in support.
He slaps my hand with his harmful words of blame.
Denial hurts my soul and heart.
I continue to love and try to make him see the light,
So I try another angle for him to understand,
He thinks that I am just trying to be right.
These problems I have also, although more controllable.
I ask for his help but he won’t help me,
All he hears is blame and that he’s fallible.
So he chooses to ignore, and pushes me away.
I am a strong person to work on my flaws,
I will continue to progress, if even to his dismay.
I tell him that being around it, makes temptation too much,
He laughs in my face without care or understanding,
He tells me that it is my problem, and I shouldn’t blame as such.
My help goes unwanted, but I just keep on trying,
I need help also, but he is unable to,
He blames and again slaps my hand while denying.
He is blindly dependent upon another and yet,
Will not trust or rely on my love,
To be alone in a gutter, he has himself set.
Denial, pain, hurtfulness – it is a disease.
Not once has he asked about a meeting.
Tearing us apart, there will never be on bended knee.
C. Anne
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winterssnow reviewed Version 2 -
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Sounds like co-dependency…too many times one person wants to break the chains of addiction, while the other doesn’t have the strength or desire to do so! Love unfortunately doesn’t cure everything. You can’t cure someone else if you can’t cure yourself. I think your poem is very good and you put a lot of thought and feelings into it. Hope you continue to write as I would like to read more of your work.
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vbrunkenobi reviewed Version 2 -
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rayah316 reviewed Version 2 -
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Reveleson reviewed Version 2 -
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Kaiser_Kibitzer reviewed Version 1 -
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I felt my heart melt for your context because I can relate and understand what your going through. I think that others would be able to relate to this in their own lives even if the situation is not exact. I would have liked to have seen a broader use of words, particularly for the word “blame”. On the other hand there were some lines I adored such as:
“To be alone in a gutter, he has himself set.” and
“Tearing us apart, there will never be on bended knee.”
I thought they were emotionally powerful and moving. You certainly have talent!
Reveleson reviewed Version 1 -
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Oh how I can relate to this piece…it is strong and beautiful…sad and enraging! I believe in staying strong…keep on keeping on…
‘I am a strong person to work on my flaws,
I will continue to progress, if even to his dismay.’
This line shows that you are the same! I have heard this line also,
‘He tells me that it is my problem, and I shouldn’t blame as such.’
And, that hurts…it seems like there is no care or concern. Thank you for sharing!
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