Poetry / Let's Not

I really like this. I’m not sure how I feel about the partial rhymes in the beginning with no rhyme at the end (in such a short piece it’s odd to start one way and then break it suddenly) but it isn’t necessarily bad that way. It still reads nicely. I might suggest making the third line its own sentence and beginning the first line with a capital letter. Or at least have a comma after “baby” I think there should be some kind of a pause there.

Again, as with Georgie, it’s formally very tight.  The title is great:  let’s not (go there).  It seems to be a sort of refusal of nostalgia.  Coupled with Georgie, I read it as an an indictment of nostalgia for a mythical, bucolic, historical american eden—which in fact roiled with trouble suffering and injustice.  Again, impressive.

I read this and I wasn’t quite sure what I was reading until I read it a few more times.  This is quite odd for a poem, it seems more like a quote to me.  Comparing an old dirt road to quick sand I think is quite brilliant.  Old dirt roads swallow up the memory of those that have passed over them and when the wind blows the memory fades away.  When you’re talking about not falling through “that old dirt road” I feel as if you are talking about maybe falling into old ways, perhaps old patterns of behavior; if that is the case then I believe this poem is quite brilliant.  Good job!  Keep up the good work!

Yeah, OK. So keep it up. ;-)

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January 09, 2006

by Fuzziness

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
64	100.0% (15 votes)	47.7%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
27	F	United States	April 14

BTW, I just skimmed though the list on the homepage and found you. Whenever someone posts something recently, it’s usually there. Otherwise, just click the “Gallery” tab and there’s an engine to search names there too. =)

Lub,
Me

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