Poetry / Piece's

it has nice structure and works well for its size.

I thought this was short and to the point and made me smile, good use of imagery and was in no danger of losing my attention! Very well written.

Short & Sweet exactly! Nice little piece which made me smile at the end. If you had any thoughts about developing it further that would be great as it isn’t clear exactly what your message/topic is. :-)

I’m not sure what you’re trying to convey with this poem.  Perhaps the development of a child?

I find the use of the word ‘piece’ 3 times in the first two lines a little awkward.  But then I suppose the title is Piece’s.  

Would you consider the first line being changed to “Put me together” ?

Talking of the title, I’m curious about the use of an apostrophe meaning possession?  Did you just mean ‘Pieces’, as in more than one piece?

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December 12, 2007

by yellllllooow

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The point of the poem was placing myself in the state of a puzzle and someone was piecing me together.

I know the wording is awkward, but this is an old writing I wrote several years back.

But thank you for your advice!!

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The poem is, in its essence, contradictory: “Touch me here, touch me there, don’t dare, touch me there.” Contradictory and dully repetitive. In a 23-word poem, “piece” is used 4 times, and “touch” is used 3 times. Because it is so short, each word must be chosen with great care. I do like the overall theme of the poem, but I think it fails to suggest a sort of sensual (re-) construction.

I like it, but it might sound better if you start with “put me together” Just a suggestion