Thank you very much for the gracious review, I’m so glad you liked it!
Humor/Satire / Drama on the Mount, Ch. 1 - "Hera's Strike"
Hera stood alone in the white marble and gold halls of Olympus, poised for a confrontation with her no-good husband, this was the fifth decade he’d missed her birthday dinner and she was pissed. Just because he was the ruler of Olympus didn’t give him the right to go traipsing around with every Pandora, Cyane and Megara that came his way.
Just then, Zeus walked in, interrupting Hera’s festering thoughts of resentment for the moment. “Hi honey, I’m home ” said the King of the Gods, blissful and ignorant. “My you look beautiful today, wife.” added Zeus, knowing something was wrong from the look on Hera’s face, but not quite sure what it was. Hera simply stood there unmoved, raised an eyebrow incredulously and proceeded to flip her long, thick black locks back with a gold-adorned hand before asking, “Where were you, Zeus?”in a tone befitting her title as Queen of Olympus.
“Oh no, not this again,” Zeus quietly whispered under his breath as he tried to nonchalantly change the subject, “Hey I’m kinda hungry babe…wanna make me a sandwich?”
Hera’s regal grey eyes twitched as she responded, “No…I do not want to make you a sandwich…babe. I want to know where you were. It was my birthday yesterday and as usual you missed dinner with the family despite the fact that I explicitly asked you not to.”
“Is that what you’re so pissy about? Jeez Hera, we’re immortal,” as Zeus said this he laughed a little at how serious she was making this whole thing, “What’s one birthday?”
“It’s not just one birthday, Zeus. It’s you never being there as my husband, never being there as the children’s father, it’s you lying in filth with anything that moves…and sometimes even with things that don’t ” admonished Hera, now livid at his blasé attitude.
Zeus had a goofy smirk plastered on his face as he thought about the latest time he’d lain in filth… yesterday.
“Are you listening to me? ” Hera’s voice echoed and made the ground shake a little.
“Ow…keep it down dear, I hear you,” Zeus responded, “I don’t want to, but I do.” he mumbled under his breath.
Unfortunately, Hera had heard this last part, she was of course a Goddess and as such had excellent hearing.
“WHAT? Oh that’s right, turn this around into a joke…that’s all this is to you, isn’t it?” Hera asked, fully aware of the answer.
“So dear…how are the kids?” Zeus asked, trying to change the subject again, as he walked towards the kitchen.
Hera saw now that he wouldn’t listen to words, so she closed her eyes and summoned a powerful gust of wind which sent Zeus flying backwards onto the ground, his head lying on the marble floor right next to Hera’s golden high-heeled sandals.
She knelt down and looked Zeus in the eyes, then said, “You can’t get away from me that easily dear. Do you really want to know how the children are? Fine. I’ll tell you. Ares is bullying Hermes who’s still a chronic bed-wetter, Athena’s anti-social, Aphrodite’s got crabs, Hephaestus is still playing with fire, Hekate’s cutting herself again, Apollo and Artemis are both gay and Dionysus won’t stay in rehab for longer than a day.”
“The twins are gay? Really?” Zeus, still on the floor, asked incredulously.
“Zeus…you’re missing the point here entirely. I’m sick of supporting this family by myself without your help…so I’m going on strike.”
“Uh…strike?” asked Zeus, as if he didn’t know what she meant.
“Yes, Zeus, a strike. I’m going to stay with my sister Demeter, she’s in town for the ‘Goodness Gracious Great Gourds of Fire Festival’ in Thrace. And I’m telling you right now Zeus, I’m not coming back until you straighten up your act ”
With this, Hera turned, her purple silk robe flowing behind her like a wave as she went out to the terrace and boarded her gold chariot.
Zeus got up and could hear Iris her driver ask, “Ready Ms. Hera?”
“Yes, Iris,” responded Hera.
Zeus attempted to get a glimpse of her through the window, but she looked away as Iris whipped the peacocks pulling the chariot into action and they flew away into the clouds.
He couldn’t believe it, she was actually going through with this. In all the millennia that they’d been married, Hera had threatened to walk out on him literally thousands of times, but she’d never actually gone through with it. Usually his humor and goofy smile were enough to charm her into staying and forgetting about whatever nasty mess Zeus had gotten himself into. But not this time. This time, she’d had enough and Zeus wondered if he’d finally pushed her too far.
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DCAllen reviewed Version 1 -
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adamsk13 reviewed Version 1 -
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I must say, I REALLY enjoyed this piece! It’s clear that you know a bit in terms of ancient Greek mythology becuase you did a wonderful job of capturing the characteristics of each god or goddess. i also thought it was really clever of you to add your own personal spin to stories that are sort of ancient and outdated. very smart, witty, and well written. I think this definitly has potential to be turned into something bigger. best of luck!
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pinestategal reviewed Version 1 -
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Alright I am guessing that I just reviewed the nest part of this story, where Here has actually left and the teenagers are out of control. This is also wonderful, I especially liked the line “Goodness Gracious Great Gourds of Fire Festival” That made me laugh aloud and my hubby asked me what was so funny. Again great Job.
Nani reviewed Version 1 -
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Your dialogue has an authentic ring to it; perhaps you’ve been in a few of these give-and-takes?
Liked “Goodness Gracious Great Gourds of Fire Festival’
The phrase, “Just then…” I’d nix it, just slows down the sentence, doesn’t add anything of value.
To help the piece flow, just let most of the dialogue stand alone, we know there are only two people talking. The occasional he said, she said is fine, but I’d suggest removing most of the “Hera asked, fully aware of the answer” and “Zeus asked, trying to change the subject again” stuff.
Reaper reviewed Version 1 -
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This was a really fun piece! My favorite part is when Hera tells Zeus how the children are doing. It’s great! You really bring the contrasting emotions alive. I was especially interested in your piece because I have done a lot of research of Greek mythology and it looks like you have too. I use mythology in my work as well, check it out if you get a chance. I’d be interested in your opinion. Nice work!
rck419 reviewed Version 1 -
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hahaha. First thing was the wanna make me a sandwich line. It works for almost everything, and it doesn’t get old. “And sometimes even with things that don’t.” Great line, shows how powerful a woman is over a man, however sad that may be.
“Ares is bullying Hermes who’s still a chronic bed-wetter, Athena’s anti-social, Aphrodite’s got crabs, Hephaestus is still playing with fire, Hekate’s cutting herself again, Apollo and Artemis are both gay and Dionysus won’t stay in rehab for longer than a day.”
You are excellent at, well, being funny. It’s the average jokes, put into something so strange and different it makes me laugh.
Goodness Gracious Great Gourds of Fire Festival- haha excellent again.
Great piece for this category. Your dialogue could use a little fine tuning, but I think it works well for a comedy.
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