Poetry / What She Saw

What she remembers, after he’s gone, is what she saw when she kissed him.
So unladylike to open her eyes.

All good manners forgotten.
They were such nice kids, everyone said.

Strange—that she remembers the sky behind him, grey. Set with brown trees.
Hopeful, she thought. As if something beautiful would spring up.

Later, evening, homes. Always lit with lamps. Secretly, secretly.
Parents are never sure if they have raised nice kids.
You never know.

After he is gone, she forgets how it feels. What he said.
That she loved him.

Just.
That grey sky and brown trees, lamps and warmth while kissing.

She never thought to ask him if he opened his eyes. They were always closed when she looked at them, turning into one eyelid.
Little hairs on his nose, the way he always smelled like tea before he kissed her.

Later, when he invites her to his wedding, she watches stealthily to see if the bride’s eyes are open when he kisses her, at the end.
It’s hard to tell, but she thinks they are closed. (Her approval was never asked for.)

She marries a man who keeps his eyes open while he kisses her, accidentally. They both wonder if it’s impolite. They decide that it is not.
She remembers everything she sees. What he says.
Forgets she ever loved, ever kissed anyone else.

(She dreams with her eyes open.)

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Reviews

January 16, 2006

kristenh2006

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
6	0.0% (0 votes)	16.7%

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23			April 04

kristenh2006 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

This is a beautiful piece of writing. I absolutly love how you describe what she see’s, tastes and feels while she is kissing him. This is great piece of artwork, keep it up.

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January 11, 2006

HeaT

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
3	66.7% (3 votes)	16.7%

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats

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27			April 04

HeaT reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I think this is very well written and structered nicely. I really liked how you point out that she remebers the sky being grey behind him and she hope for something beautiful to spring up. A very moving poem and a great read.