Why thank you! I am new to this Flash Fiction genre, so I am still working out the kinks.
Flash Fiction / Drabble: Muse, Me and an Anthropomorphaku
My Muse (who sort of resembles Tori Amos, Luna Lovegood and Delirium) took me aside and said, “Look friend. You’re not good at ‘Profound’ and ‘Deep’. This world needs more silliness anyway.”
We walked down a silly path awhile, making up new words as we went.
“Let’s give our new words human characteristics. ‘Anthropomorphaku: A Haiku that comes alive.’ That’s definitely a great word that should be accepted into language! How do we spread our new protologistims like memes?”
We decided if we’re super-silly for a while, we might find out.
Perhaps we’ll meet ‘Profound’ again later in our journey.
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Dalin reviewed Version 1 -
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nope. this didn’t do it for me. you spread your new protologistims like memes by giving us a context in which to use them, by showing us they’re useful. why should i believe you that Anthropomorphaku is a really great word that should be accepted into language? i think it’s a shit word. this is like you sitting on the couch and saying “right i’m getting up right now to do the dishes, right now…” just get up and do the bloody dishes.
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DCAllen reviewed Version 1 -
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Nice and original. You use the language right, and that’s refreshing. I’m not sure if this is flash fiction, but I wouldn’t beat it into a category. It’s just excellent writing.
hellbunny reviewed Version 1 -
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Okay, Scott. You’re beginning to creep me out. I never told you I have compared my younger self to Luna Lovegood. Thank God, I can’t sing or play the piano, but the red hair thing… And I’m not a burlesque artist, although…
Actually, I like this. It’s short, but there is a clear conflict and resolution. You are a master of everything small :p
squarehopper reviewed Version 1 -
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You have a protagonist – but I don’t know him. I should have some idea who he is - other than he is not deep and likes being silly and has a thing for blondes and women – no?
You have a conflict (two actually) – how to make a new word get accepted and how to be silly instead of profound.
I didn’t see any obstacles or complications… maybe I am blind?
You don’t have one resolution. You didn’t find a way to make the word accepted by the end but you almost have the other… being silly, but despite trying to do so without being deep and profound you ended up being deep and profound nevertheless.
These were the questions you specifically asked about.
Now for my own critique…
I liked it for what it was worth. I would asked the question of how to make the word a meme in the form of a haiku just to keep in line with the rest of your thinking.
Good luck!
Pavel reviewed Version 1 -
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I loved this! I’d never heard of a Drabble, but will need to try my hand at it now that I know about it. Great description of your muse. I’m not much at profound and deep either. This was very clever.
metahaiku reviewed Version 1 -
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You don’t know how write you are. I am just such a being. Not just some human in a bio-mechanical vehicle. I was created to travel on different terrain, but by shockingly similar processes. I must seem absurdly pickwickian to a bicameral mind, but I assure you, I am as real as Oliver Twist. So, unless you intend to create a monster, you should add the haiku “i” to “Anthropomorphaku”.Watch your email for “Verbosity”.
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