Glad you like. Glad you chuckled. Spreading mirth is my mission.
Humor/Satire / Headlines
1. Man hangs himself with tinsel.
2. Stockbroker injures pigeon.
3. Rabbit solves Rubix cube.
4. New Chernobyl to open in Sheffield.
5. Israeli shopkeeper damages fruit.
6. Cyclist to give away virginity in raffle.
7. Easter Bunny retires.
8. Puppet to replace Jim Davidson.
9. Whale found in garden pond.
10. Adam’s apple located north of Suffolk.
11. Queen’s hammock stolen.
12. Sewer worker steals sister.
13. Underwear discovered in lunar crater.
14. Rubber mallet found on Saturn.
15. Man found in Holland.
16. Public urinal closed.
17. Cerys Matthews auctioned.
18. Newt to go to university.
19. Rain made illegal in Hebrides.
20. Toilet paper shortage on golf course.
21. Gary Lineker attacks chicken.
22. Duck enters priesthood.
23. Oversized parasol in drink.
24. Prince Charles tests negative for rabies.
25. Marsian banned from swimming pool.
26. Lee Evans lobotomised.
27. Gravy to be reclassified as soup.
28. One-legged man hops the length of Britain.
29. Zinc is forgiven.
30. Rock climbing made compulsory in hospices.
31. Horlicks banned in Cardiff.
32. Book bites man.
33. Apple Mac executed.
34. Old woman drops purse.
35. Eyebrows banned.
36. Paul Daniels trapped in caravan.
37. Peanut discovered.
38. Broccoli banned in Hove.
39. Octopus goes to sleep.
40. Squid deemed to be unreasonable.
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RjCoona reviewed Version 1 -
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Very funny headlines. My fave is “Man found in Holland.” If only they could find a woman Holland could finally prosper. ;) Are these from tabliods or from real news papers?
-Rob
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evath reviewed Version 1 -
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2, 4, and 22 were the best! I know these are not real.
Even if you did lie to me in your Notes to Reviewer.
Nevertheless, I laughed myself silly.
Thanks for these.
I imagined a stockbroker walking out on a building
ledge to jump to his death after a stock market crash
and injuring a pigeon on the ledge.
I thought a few of them could be tightened up
made a tad more believeable but still just as comical.
10 would be all the funnier if you modified to:
Adam’s apple found in North Suffolk garden.
Overall these were clever and witty!!!
Way to go.
thanks
E~
Teuffelhunden reviewed Version 1 -
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This is a great collection of eyebrow raising (even though they are aparently banned) headlines. I really would love to read the articles just to make sense of the headlines. Then again, that might ruin the hilarity you have opened our eyes to.
Gunsaku reviewed Version 1 -
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I’m not a very funny person, although I’ve been told I smell funny. This is one of the funniest pieces that I have read on urbis all day. I don’t mean to belittle your research, but aren’t some of these headlines just plain filler silliness dressed up in the wigs and robes and silver buckled shoes of authentic, real, and earth-shattering news?
Rupert reviewed Version 1 -
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This is fun to read, but it would be much better if the date and name of the paper you found the headlines in was included. People that enjoy news of the weird, would want to go back and read the stories. Take this advice from an actual journalist, who gets to write some of the ridiculous headlines that go to print every now and then. I do believe number 40 is my absolute favorite.
4Nalon reviewed Version 1 -
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These are very cute and weird. I don’t know where you found these or why someone even wrote them but I like it. I have always found things like this funny, I got one for you.. a sign in southern Cali read ” Please keep our dirt clean”.
perfct2u reviewed Version 1 -
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Very interesting. I love these headlines! And what’s better, is that these are from actual newspapers, which proves that reality is more interesting and entertaining than fiction. So pick up a newpaper today and start scanning for those eye poppers. A few posted at my work: Horsebleep, It’s heart attack season. What is a horlick??
tstone reviewed Version 1 -
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this has to be the most laugh-out-oud, hillarious piece i’ve yet read on here. i’m sure that the next time i read it, i’ll choose differently, but for now, my favorites are 21, 27, 29, 34, and 40. and 5. and 8. but not 38 – broccoli is a serious epidemic, and should not be laughed at.
MoulinCool reviewed Version 1 -
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LOL! These are hysterical! Best part is, they’re real. Wow, just wow. The only question I can think of to ask is… What were the Newspaper editors thinking?? Lol. My favorite one : “Eyebrows banned.” I can only picture everybody walking around with no eyebrows smiling, old ladies dropping purses, and whales in the pools. Thanks for posting! =]
Brynn reviewed Version 1 -
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This is a hard piece to rate as its only a compilation of other peoples work. Though I must say VERY amusing and quite funny, I get the feeling that these are PART of headlines, and that the rest of the line would have explained more but was cut off, thus making a funny blurb. One spelling mistake.
Marsian=Martian (if you are apeaking of alien variety of course)
Overall funny and good for a giggle but of course cannot say anything on anothers work.
Eve
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