Yes your right. I’m not ready though, something tells me I have a lot of refining to do and experience to gain before I begin short stories and ultimately novels. I’m taking it very slow and steady, I’m in it for the long run. I rather produce one “Invisible Man” like Ralph Ellison, then a dozen scars to the sanctity of writing, like so many “writers” I rather not waste space naming…
Poetry / Too short to be great. Too long to be mediocre.
Give me a spoon! I’ll eat your soul. Then i’ll cook up your brain and feed it to dogs that rub their noses in grammar. Lets go Shakespear, Sing me a fucking sonnet! Serial killer style? I’ll leave that for the real sicko. I am kinda sick though, or so it goes. why? I write without thinking, and never think about writing. Fingers control me you see. They are my heart, lungs, and liver. The vital organs to the survival of me. Breath, puff and pass, No not the joint, the gift, and i got it from me, me, me. Now Tell me about the typos Mr. Critic…
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horse reviewed Version 3 -
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There are times when a rant is warranted…and effective. I’m not certain what started this one, but I suppose that I can guess. This rant has some moments. In all though, this is too disjointed to actually hit home. It just comes off as angry and a bit silly in the end.
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Willow_Wren reviewed Version 3 -
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I like the first line then it starts to fall apart. This is a parody I take it on something, Urbis reviews, writing poetry, or just tongue-in-cheek sarcasm. I sense hostility here and not sure who or what it is directed at. As a prose poem it’s rather self-centered and it’s all telling, well, that’s just my take, not sure where this poem is going.
tstone reviewed Version 3 -
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“Fingers control me you see. They are my heart, lungs, and liver.” i like this line – good description of the urge to create and its impulsive demands, burning and vital. i would love to see you take this rawness, (for lack of a better word,) into a narrative form, as in a short story. not a suggestion for this particular work, i like it as it is… but possibly another direction to consider in the future. henry miller’s ‘tropic of cancer’ comes to mind as an example.
evath reviewed Version 3 -
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As opposed to the last one, which I didn’t care for
as it read like the menu at a sex-food restaurant,
this one here has soul, passion and fire.
good for poetry.
not namby-pamby.
and I only saw one typo.
and that was Shakespeare was spelled wrong ;-)
but you asked for it, so you got it.
I think this is definitely a thumbs up!
CourtshipLives reviewed Version 3 -
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i was going to comment about your lack of structure but then i realized that is the point of your poem, and that you’re rather genius for thinking that. this is so true. there are a bunch of pretentious, self-righteous, purist bastards that menstruate when you disregard the textbook recommended number of syllables or lines or stanzas or what-have-you. i say fuck em. i have respect for most artforms and the artists that coined them but if you need someone’s rules to tell you how to express yourself, you obviously have no artistic worth, let alone any individuality whatsoever. forget the rules and just write the real shit that just flows out of your veins. great poetic rant. right on, man.
tentoes reviewed Version 3 -
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Wow, fascinating piece! I’m so happy to have read it. Clearly, you challenge those critics/dogs who consume your work and then belch big nasty clouds of advice on punctuation and spelling, while never considering the true flavor of what they have just read. For the record, I enjoyed the meal.
Because you mention it almost as a challenge, I will NOT answer any urge I might have to give technical critique. I have to say though, that there are many very talented and experienced writers and publishers here, whose advice should be at least chewed, even if not swallowed. I always see critique of my work like reading an instruction manual. I retain only what might apply in future to the work at hand, and forget the rest.
Thanks for this one. I’ll be looking forward to reading, (sans critique), more of your work.
smiles,
toes
OfTrepidation reviewed Version 3 -
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honestly, i love typos. when i write, my i’s are pretty much always lower case. yes, i know it is not “correct” but thats me.
Blue_Eyes reviewed Version 3 -
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I am sorry, I just was not feeling this one much at all. There are some good ideas here, but they are not fully realized, from my perspective. Perhaps you should put more thought into your writing.
Maud reviewed Version 3 -
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Interesting piece. Particularily like the line…feed it to the dogs that rub their noses in grammar. So, tell me if I got the message.
Are these the rantings of an angry non-conformist poet who is compelled to write, but only on his own terms. Writing is, in fact, central to his very existence. I use the pronoun his because of the amount of violence embedded within the poem—this is usually a guy thing (if you’ll forgive the sterotype. He is asking for criticsm, but at the same time rejecting and mocking it before it’s given.
There may be a limited market for works of this nature, but I liked it for some reason. Maybe it’s the rebellious tone.
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