thanx
Limericks / MONEY WELL SPENT
One evening, a young man from Kent,
who’s member was crooked and bent,
went alone to the park,
on a lark in the dark;
none the poorer he is, now, but spent.
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gator326 reviewed Version 1 -
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Noburo reviewed Version 1 -
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VioletL reviewed Version 1 -
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lines one, two and five need the same number of beats. Three and four need the same number of beats. I had a wonderful site, but lost it with an internet fiasco. You have the feel, just need to tweak a bit.
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MMWyrm reviewed Version 1 -
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ray336 reviewed Version 1 -
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very good limerick. true to form and humorous.
LadyMactans reviewed Version 1 -
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GreenIguana reviewed Version 1 -
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I enjoyed this. I’m not sure whether the meter is right or not…but who cares?
drbillpuglisi reviewed Version 1 -
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Limericks are classic its true,
And this structure works for you,
It went along fine,
but you blew the last line,
that’s why I must rate it a 2!
Sorry, you were right about the structure and rhythm, and they are fine. The last line is just disappointing. I guess I just like a bigger bang at the end.
Context reviewed Version 1 -
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I like the tale that your limerick tells. It’s very bawdy without employing obscene language. I also liked that you kept to the traditional rhyming scheme.
I like the line “on a lark in the dark,” but don’t understand why you placed a semicolon at the end. All of the other lines, with the exception of the first, end with commas. It seems out of place.
joancrown reviewed Version 1 -
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whose member, me thinks
hahaha, the conclusion is clever
Your syllables are close—I learned 99669… but there’s room to play.
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Version 1
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