Poetry / freedom at the back of my soles

my feet are free
to roam as they please
up the road
over the way
no reason to pause
without personal loss
gather up steam
head inland yet
no further north
pain may start delay
fear may grip laces
pain will follow
while fear forgets
where I am.

You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.

Reviews

January 27, 2008

Willow_Wren

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
2212	79.7% (688 votes)	28.3%

personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
62	F	Germantown, NY	December 02

Willow_Wren reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

The beginning of this poem has great energy and flow and moves along nicely until L8 where it first falters on ‘yet’ in meaning. But it is L10&L11 that breaks the rhythm. There a lyricism and lightness to these rambling feet that I like and with a little bit of editing could be a more perfect poem!