Haiku/Senryu / First Entries

The skin is broken
Hungry now, you bite harder
seeking the center

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Goddess2006 avatar General Friend

January 19, 2008

Goddess2006

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Goddess2006 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I admit my first thought was tootsie pop, and then I wasn’t sure. You’ve created a mystery. Universal truth that can be interpreted many ways.. again.. brilliant!

metahaiku avatar General Stranger

January 19, 2008

metahaiku

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metahaiku reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

A frightening verse in these days of viruses.

ParticoRomulus avatar General Stranger

January 13, 2008

ParticoRomulus Prolific-icon-medium

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ParticoRomulus reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

This is excellent.  Simple, but piercing.  Sparse but deep.  The literal act of eating an apple (or whatever) when described with your skill is so easily read in many other ways.  I have nothing to add or pick on.  Well done.

Jaey_Peele avatar General Stranger

January 13, 2008

Jaey_Peele

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Jaey_Peele reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

Paramour or parasite?

evath avatar General Friend

January 13, 2008

evath

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evath reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I am not sure I understood how the title applied
to the senryu, and think maybe you could find
something to synthesize better.

The haiku itself was brilliance!

“To be understood” was an odd topic choice, as, to me,
there seem to be a few ways to ‘interpret’ the piece.
So I’m not sure I understood you, or was reading in
my own multiple interpretations:
Either someone biting into their lover during
the height of passion, or someone taking a bite
out of a succulent piece of fruit.
either way…
Kudos to you for a wonderful moment!!!!
E~

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MichaelLilith avatar

MichaelLilith

Age: 36
Loc: Chicago, IL
Gen: M
Last Login: March 13
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5 Reviews 6 Comments
Version 1
Latest Activity: over 2 years ago

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