“Would you please,” Arrius asked later that day, “take your nails out of my back?”
Iolanthe had quite forgotten herself, and that had not happened in years and years. “Did I …oh! Oh, Gaius, I’m so sorry, did I draw blood?”
He rolled off her and on to his back with a massive sigh, followed by a yelp. “Ow! Yes, you did.”
“Well, whatever got into you?” Now, it was Iolanthe’s turn to sigh. Her toes were slowly unfurling. Had it really been so long? And how had she forgotten? How could she?
Arrius turned his head toward her and grinned into the pillow. “You’re asking the wrong way around. It’s what got into you!”
“Priapus, at least! Or should that be Jupiter? Gaius, you were possessed!”
He brushed away a tendril of wet hair that lay across her forehead. Iolanthe, usually so serene, so calm, so poised and self-assured, looked nothing like her usual immaculate self. The Indian kohl she used had smudged around her eyes, and the rouge on her mouth and cheeks had long since gone, but it didn’t matter. Her glow could have lit up the room.
He sighed again. She wasn’t the only one who felt better. Nothing like a good romp to make him feel better, no matter what the circumstances, and being Iolanthe, there was nothing like her and noone better in the world to do it with.
“‘What I desire, if you will give: what you desire, you shall receive’,” he quoted. Before he could stop himself, he added: “Maybe you should be paying me!”
“Ah…” Iolanthe rolled on her side and trailed her fingers over his chest. The hairs gleamed gold in the lamplight. “I do like a man who can quote erotic poetry, after doing such an impersonation as Priapus, no less. If this is anything to go by – ” Iolanthe indicated the ruin of her bed – “then I could never afford you.”
“Lucky me!” Arrius reached for his wine and sat up.
“Gaius.”
“Iolanthe.”
“What happened today?” Iolanthe wrapped a sheet around her.
Arrius was surprised. Where had he left his head? “You mean I didn’t tell you?” he asked.
She gave him a stern look. “No. You simply came back from your meeting in a white-hot fury, trailing poor Lucius, who must be wondering every bit as much as I am. You grabbed me, you brute, and dragged me off to this bed, Gaius, and we’ve been here ever since. Not-” she sat up, grimaced and sipped her wine cup thoughtfully, “that I’m complaining.” She was tingling from her scalp to her toes. No, she wasn’t complaining. She wouldn’t be able to sit properly for days, much less walk without a limp.
All at once, Arrius was livid all over again. “You’ll never believe it.”
Iolanthe looked down at her nails. There was blood on the tips. Sacred Aphrodite!
“You might be surprised at what I believe, Gaius, and what I believe is that if you don’t tell me what happened at your meeting at the praetorium today, you won’t be the one who survives leaving this bed!” She gave him another stern look. Arrius began to feel like a chastised little boy. For Iolanthe at least, he could curb his temper.
“Well, then.” He sighed, ran his fingers through his hair and slumped forward. Iolanthe noticed he spoke to the air in front of him, rather than looked her in the face.
“All right, I’ll make it short. I had my interview with Postumianus, and right in the middle of it the Emperor walked in and gave his own two as’ worth. About me, about the campaign, even about Postumianus. None of it flattering, I can assure you. Then, he hauled me off to his private quarters and gave me a lecture on everything from the state of the Empire to the state of Antoninus, and let me tell you, Iolanthe, he does know that Antoninus has it in for me! He knows everything. Finally…” Arrius slumped down even further. There was another, massive sigh. He fortified himself with a long draught of wine.
“Finally, darling, I won’t be one of the quaestores Augusti. Severus says I’m too good to kill, or not bad enough. Instead, he wants me to go to Hibernia on a secret mission, no less, to kill off a pest that’s been harrying the western coast of Britannia and stolen the XX’s winter supply ships, and to take care I don’t return until after he’s dead, when Antoninus, presumably, will have other things to distract him. I can do that, keep my rank and keep my life. Or – I can become quaestor Augustus, and die. He gave me the choice.”
Iolanthe was flabbergasted. There was a long pause, while she considered the implications of what he had just said. “He gave you a choice? Gaius, dear, what have you been drinking lately? You’re talking about the Emperor!”
“Really?” Arrius replied. “And here I thought he was just a short, conniving old African…what do I know?” His voice dripped vinegar.
“But…but…” Iolanthe stuttered. Her mind was going like an overworked abacus, as she slid metaphorical beads into their proper places. Gaius. Antoninus. The politics of empire. Survival. Click, click, went the pieces in her mind, then suddenly, they all fell into place. Her face lit up in a huge smile.
“Oh, but Gaius…that’s brilliant!”
Arrius was instantly furious again. His left fist hammered down on the mattress with a muted thump that startled Iolanthe. “Brilliant? It’s brilliant that my entire future has been taken away from me? It’s brilliant that I now have to go to Hibernia to do someone else’s filthy job, instead of going home to the father I haven’t seen in six years?” He grabbed Iolanthe by her shoulders and shook her. “I’ve been exiled to this filthy, miserable island for six fucking years, Iolanthe, and now I’m told I have to stay?” He was snarling now like a caged animal, and maybe, reflected Iolanthe, that was exactly what he felt.
“Well, darling, it will be Hibernia, not Britannia, after all…” she replied soothingly.
“I don’t care two figs’ worth if it’s fucking Hibernia! I don’t want to go!” He was yelling now, which told her just how furious he truly was.
“Now, now, Gaius, calm down. Here, have some more wine.” She leaned over and handed him his wine cup.
“But I don’t fucking want…” Arrius began to say.
“I said…” Iolanthe used the voice she used on her slaves to correct them. “Calm down, Senator. Let go of that temper tantrum of yours and just…think, for a moment. You can think, or so I’ve heard?”
Even naked and in a terrible temper, he suddenly looked like a beaten little boy. He must have been an obstinate child, for he certainly looked stubborn now.
“Now, Gaius. Shut up and think, will you? The problem with all you young senators is that you’ve been spoiled by all that privilege. Yes, darling, even you. You’ve always taken your future for granted. It was always carved in marble, wasn’t it, as precisely as the writing on Severus’ triumphal arch in the Forum in Rome. You would go the way of your father and grandfather, become quaestor, and go to the law courts, live that distinguished but rather unremarkable life that all of you Arrii have lived for centuries. Well, I suppose Fortuna has other plans for you. No, Gaius…” Iolanthe held up her hand. “You will listen to what I have to say, and you will shut up while I say it!”
He still looked mulish. All that was missing was a pouting lower lip, and that couldn’t be too far behind.
“If you go to Hibernia, and I’m sure Severus knows just how to leak that small bit of information, then Antoninus will probably assume you’re dead, and he’ll never bother to look for you, here in Britannia or anywhere else, for that matter. Once Severus is dead, Antoninus will have other fish to fry, I can tell you, and with you out of the vicinity, neither you nor your father will be worthy of attention. A different name and a different place, maybe, and you could slip his mind altogether. There are plenty of places in the Empire to disappear or reinvent yourself. Trust me on this, I know.” She sighed. “Oh, how I know!
Arrius crossed his arms across his chest. He was absolutely still, and looking a tad less stubborn.
“Well, then.” Iolanthe rubbed her head as she considered her words. “It’s not at all hard to get back from Hibernia – there’s a Roman trader there, so I’ve heard, whose ships ply the Middle Sea of the Isles in sailing season. Once you’ve accomplished what you’ve set out to do, you could likely find a ship to take you to Puteoli, at least, and it won’t be hard to return home to your father from there. And after that – who knows? There might well be all sorts of opportunities for a man like you. I might even be able to arrange a few. I have connections in Alexandria…”
“Alexandria! I’m not going to Alexandria!” Arrius spat. He hugged his chest tighter.
“Gods, Gaius, just shut up, will you? You can’t see further than being packed off to Hibernia, and I do understand, but what will happen after that, hmm? Are you just going to retire to a family farm with some farmer’s daughter and live out the rest of your days in total obscurity? Somehow, I don’t think you can.”
“Well…” He sighed.
Iolanthe had to conceal a grin. She had all his attention now, and he was coming round. Good!
“In any case, it makes perfect sense. You go, you come back, and we’ll find something for you to do…”
“May I point out” said Arrius, “that I don’t even know if I’ll ever see you again once I leave.”
“Ah, but darling…” Iolanthe smiled, “you will! I just know it! You don’t think that I’ll stay here in Eboracum forever, do you?” She trailed her hand down his back.
“No, but…”
“Well, then. At least, you can think about it.” She shrugged. She had no intention of letting this masculine gem out of her grasp. If there was anything she could do…
“Damn it…” Arrius threw himself back on the bed. “I wanted to go home to my father…”
Now, Iolanthe was furious. “Ecastor, Gaius! Gods, but you are the most stubborn, obstinate mule who ever lived! Do you want to live, or do you want to die?” She pulled him upright by his shoulders and shook him hard.
For a long, breathless moment, two pairs of blue eyes stared each other down. Arrius broke away first.
His voice was very small, and sounded very young, when he did finally speak.
“I want to live.”
“I always knew you were clever, darling!” Iolanthe ran her fingers through his hair. “When are you leaving?”
There was another, interminable silence, while Arrius stared at the ceiling, considering. Then he sat up and pushed Iolanthe back on the bed.
“I’m leaving,” he breathed into her ear, “as soon as I get my money’s worth!”
“Gaius!” Iolanthe was laughing hard now. “You’ve paid me thousands already!”
“I’m leaving” he repeated, “as soon as I get what I paid for!”
“And what have you paid for?” asked Iolanthe with a teasing lilt in her voice.
“This.”
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