Poetry / Stories Of Discarded Ambitions

She pl
      aces her h-a-n-d-s
on me and e
            r
               a
                   s
                         e
                                s
her mind. I REach my  a   r   m   s
o    u    t  and hold her body
cl
   ose She WANTED to
l
  o
    o
      s
        e   herself, and I
complied. She R-E-a-c-h-e-s
TO the sky,      ing
            elate
every hope she has. The
                        sun
no longer matters. All that
      is her and I. She wants
exists
to BE some
          thing other than
No
  thing. My a   r   m   s  hold
her form as THE moon be
                       gins
to s     e. We are both here for
     mil
this ONE mo-ment. She
smiles like YOU n
                  e
                    v
                      e
                        r
Existed and moves
        r. She GAVE every
      e                  thing
     h
   g
  i
h
to s-t-A-N-D in me one
                      last
                           time.
YOUR words will not ent
                       er
her mind. I c      e her in my
             r    l
               ad
ha-rsh a   r   m   s  and feel her
HEART
      beat, heal
                ing with every
brush of my wind. She
c
  ome
      s to me when
she needs TO be save
                    d. I
exist
       for
           HER.

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Doctor_Rat avatar General Friend

February 23, 2008

Doctor_Rat

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Doctor_Rat reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I love the way you have worked those little bits of concrete poetry into your lunar love poem.  Some of them took a bit of working out, but they were great fun, playful and creative – and suggested something of the mental freedom of the moments you describe.  Cool!

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FireAtWilll013 avatar

FireAtWilll013

Age: 19
Loc: Reading, PA
Gen: F
Last Login: April 06
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