Young Adult / Extract from Emily

The screen of her cellphone flashed, the red light flickered on and off. Instantly, she knew the message was from Zane. She picked it up and glanced at the message he had written in the familiar, archaic style she was getting to know so well. He was asking her how her exam had went, in his way. She began tapping in her reply, her mind wandered to the comment her friend’s had made about Zane that very morning as they waited for their exam to begin. They found him completley annoyed but they recognised that he would be a good match for her. They would all be going to an important party in two weeks and they wanted her to get with him, if only to make Rebecca mad. She was open to the idea of something happening at the party but she didn’t want a relationship with him. She knew she could never love him and love, though something she knew not to expect at first, it had to grow, was something she had experienced and she knew she could no longer settle for anything less. The whole thing made her think of Whetu, she would start up long conversations with him in her mind as if she could pretend he was still in the country:

He’s nice guy, really he is. You probably wouldn’t like him. Jamie and Victoria don’t, they think he’s an arrogant, racist bastard. Maybe he is slightly arrogant but he’s a good person. He’s not racist you. You believe me right? You know I’d never go out with anyone that I thought was racist. Anyway, yea, he’s a nice guy but he’s not you. Sometimes he sends me these messages and I can’t think of anything to say except ‘Haha’. But it’s not real laughter cos he’s never said anything I’ve found really funny. You know I need a guy who can make me laugh. Make me laugh like how you could. Even if what you said wasn’t that funny it seemed hilarious, just cos of the way you said it I think. You had that mischeivious, cheeky grin and your eyes would shine.
I’ve been single and celibate for over a year now, I’ve had oppurtunity after oppurtnity not to be but I turn everyone down because they just can’t compare to you. I don’t expect them to be exactly like you, of course. I’m not that stupid or naive, everyone’s different and I appreciate that. It’s not like you’re perfect or something anyway. But I wouldn’t change a thing

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