Flash Fiction / His victim

        I studied the hacked carcass, and I was stunned by how butchered it was.  I was looking at something almost unrecognizable.

        I knew the story: it was a tragic one, but it was also cliché. Boy loved girl, girl didn’t love boy back, boy was desperate, and what I was investigating was the result of desperation.  I wasn’t looking at the work of a professional, as there were many mistakes, and the mistakes so copious, they even clouded my comprehension of the real story. I knew the perpetrator of this crime. He disgracefully signed his name to his handiwork.

        I looked at the body, then the true horror shocked me.  If the victim was in different hands, molded by a different sculptor, described by a different author, she could have transcended the lack of inspiration in her all too-short life and she could have been something truly beautiful.

        But alas, with all the potential, there were just too many contradictions, too many flaws. Those left her the choppy carcass before me owned by the hapless author too ignorant to realize he signed his name to such drivel.  Her tongue was silenced by grammar and punctuation; her eyes could never see where an adverb should have replaced adjectives, and as she was the story, she was helpless to recover; she was doomed from birth.

She was just another victim of urbicide.

Reviews

March 21, 2008

A_Silly_Lady_Novelist

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
16	81.8% (33 votes)	-1.6%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
16	F	Newnan, GA	October 30

A_Silly_Lady_Novelist reviewed Version 2 - Read 100%% of the Item

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March 14, 2008

chelly

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
378	62.6% (187 votes)	29.4%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
36	F	Waynesboro, VA	December 02

chelly reviewed Version 2 - Read 100%% of the Item

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March 07, 2008

shinsukato

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
37	66.7% (18 votes)	12.8%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
17	M	Cooperstown, NY	November 04

shinsukato reviewed Version 2 - Read 100%% of the Item

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March 05, 2008

aliciatr

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
252	87.3% (110 votes)	51.3%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
34	F	Houston, TX	November 30

aliciatr reviewed Version 2 - Read 100%% of the Item

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February 22, 2008

Ratbas

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
253	69.4% (62 votes)	22.5%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
35	M	Lowell, MA	November 25

Ratbas reviewed Version 2 - Read 100%% of the Item

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February 21, 2008

wisedec4u

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
54	82.1% (95 votes)	5.2%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
34	F	Indianapolis, IN	December 02

wisedec4u reviewed Version 2 - Read 100%% of the Item

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February 21, 2008

Jimmel104

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
662	85.4% (178 votes)	34.9%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
67	M	Flower Mound, TX	December 01

Jimmel104 reviewed Version 2 - Read 100%% of the Item

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February 21, 2008

wvtriker

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
0	100.0% (13 votes)	100.0%

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40	M	Ona, WV	March 20

wvtriker reviewed Version 2 - Read 100%% of the Item

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February 19, 2008

saxmastadrew

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
0	52.2% (23 votes)	0.0%

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14	M	Pinckney, MI	November 07

saxmastadrew reviewed Version 2 - Read 100%% of the Item

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February 19, 2008

mm_storyteller

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
0	80.0% (35 votes)	100.0%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
20	F	Saint Clair, MO	November 15

mm_storyteller reviewed Version 2 - Read 100%% of the Item

This 47 word review has not been unlocked.

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