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minusxero's profile
AGE:
20
LOC: Coppell, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 28
LOC: Coppell, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 28
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Items
Version 1
11 Reviews
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This was the last day Enough of the constant, Hypocritical, Nonsensical, Words and lies Of which she had An endless supply, She abandons our life All that we had In the blink of an eye Everything I hold dear Thrown out the door, Just to keep Her conscience clear. So I stand up, March to death, My final words on the wall, I write a weeping plea To make her regret it all. Regret her hazel eyes, Her flowing auburn hair Which lured me in And left Like I was never there. In the dark of night I hea...
Version 1
3 Reviews
0 Comments
I was walking toward my next class when I passed two men preaching Christianity Stopping, I sat down and listened to them out of curiosity The gathering seemed intent on proving the two wrong in every aspect I watched the discussion burn like an unattended cigarette Tired of the bickering between one and the other, I stand up to leave One of the Christians sees this and asks, “What do you believe?” “Like there’s more than one road, one path to any location There isn’t one single right path to...
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Reviews
You almost had me going there... I like the use of ambiguous language to make the reader believe you're talking about something completely different. It is also a good characterization of the item to your senses, and you do a great job effectively describing each one. Good work!
I really enjoyed this piece. Not only did you successfully portray the image you had in your mind, you fit it into the haiku form, which, in my opinion, made it more beautiful than otherwise. You do a good job with the opposites in this. I especially enjoyed: "I look for reassurance You give me questions." This along with the similarity in descriptions, yet difference in the end ("I hear you") made this a great read for me. The ending line is superb. Great job!
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