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missfictionista's profile
AGE:
30
LOC: San Jose, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 03
LOC: San Jose, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 03
Short story manipulator, photoshop hobbyist, and occasional poet.
Items
Version 1
5 Reviews
0 Comments
When I was a small girl, my mother used to take us to the local YMCA to swim. We loved being in the water so much that when it came time to get out, we’d dunk our heads under just as she would begin to say my sister’s or my name. We figured if we didn’t hear her calling, we wouldn’t have to get out. That ploy always worked… for about ten minutes. Inevitably she would trick us, either by pretending to be gone when we came up for air, or by repeating our names so rapidly that when we came up fo...
Version 1
6 Reviews
1 Comment
Allieta went to her fifth audition with her fingers crossed, but held out little hope of landing a role. She had seen more than a dozen of these cold, impersonal rooms and had could no longer really tell any of the judges at these things apart. They could be the same five people over and over for all she knew. She scanned this particular group of casting judges, and noticed the typically stern looks on each face. They looked tired. The panel was comprised of five older, well-dressed, no-nonse...
Version 1
13 Reviews
0 Comments
I had wanted to tell her all these stories. Stories from my childhood, in the broken down brick church we lived behind, stories of those who had wandered in my life before it was complete, before she filled it. I wanted to weave long missives to her, while running my fingers through her hair. I gushed information, words bled from my mouth and tumbled towards her ears in the eagerness to be bathed in the light of her love and understanding. I had always been good at telling stories. I told a s...
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Reviews
I like the timelessness of this piece, as well as the syntax of "But they’ll touch, will always love enough." It reads aloud well.
Not quite sure how you are going to spin this into a traditional romance novel, but curious to see it unfold. There are quite a few spelling and grammatical errors that need to be smoothed out: therefore, not therefor heard, not hears "dignity and innocence was shattered and spliced"- unless you are going for a certain street vernacular, use were, not was. And something feels wrong about "spliced"... I know what you were meaning, but it interrupts the flow of an otherwise very nice piece. Als...
Sad, yet creative. I think those with a morbid bent on life will "get" it... but your immediate friends and family may recommend you for a psych visit. Don't worry about my 2.5 minutes, I think they were well spent. Great job!
First, don't ever change the title Second! You killed him!!! Maybe he wanted to die, but I didn't want him to die! I did like the tone of this, the working-man's tale. Hemingway did it, hell Kevin Smith did it. it's hard to do right, but I think this is a piece that shows how it could look when done right. "which he said was great to give him ideas for characters in the book he was writing that everyone who knew him knew he would never finish" Wow, I could really identify with THAT line! The ...
Simple and humorous. Would have been a ten if not for the misspelling of sandwich. I'm all for food poetry!
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