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mithie9's profile
AGE:
17
LOC: Burbank, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 13
LOC: Burbank, CA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: July 13
Hello! I’m not sure how much I’d like to say about myself. I’m the type who doesn’t say much about my own life but I try to be helpful. I’ve always been interested in poetry ever since I read my brother’s own poem. I’m fifteen and I am a bit new to writing my own poetry, but I hope I will end up with more knowledge after participating in this site. Oh, by the way, I do smile reference to picture, a lot too.
Favored Quote: “Education is what you remember after you have forgotten everything you learned.” ~ unknown
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Always sunny days, Californian dreaming days, Where cold knows no shine.
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So many intriguing thoughts can be conjured up, but so many more are forgotten.
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Looked into the mirror, I tried seeing something in me. I looked past the mirror. Past the flecks of dried up water droplets. I saw through the mirror, not into it. I saw another side. I wondered who the person in the mirror was. I looked and I looked hard. I examined her facial expression past the pours and the complexion into emotion and feeling. I don't see anything, no emotion. You can never really know what someone is thinking when you look at them and probably won't know unless they tel...
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Their hands extend out towards him, band of “peace” tight around their arms. Parents put your kids to their beds, clean their heads, teach them what is right, for I’m afraid they just might, fall deeper into that black hole, with eyes shut tight, hidden from the light, children being led by the hand of hatred and superiority, what they are being taught, must be fought, being led away from the truth, are those of the Hitler Youth.
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7 Reviews
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I can't spell for beans, but then again I don't exactly want beans. I've had enough beans for dinner!
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The first thing I thought of when I read this quote was Vietnam. That type of image can stir plethora of feelings for soldiers and people who lived in that time, so good job with that. Although, on the last sentence I feel as if there is an interruption in flow. Maybe you meant for this, but there is probably something you could add. That is up to you. Overall, I like it, it really invokes an image of war without all the typical glory that goes along with it.
First thing's first. I like this poem; I suggest you should show it to some close friends. You don't always have to rhyme in poetry, it's nice, but only necessary in a halmart card. The reason I say this is because some of the rhyming sounds a bit forced, but the flow of the poetry overall is okay. I'm not sure if it's a typo but in... "I’m sure my death was a hard one to shallow" did you mean to put swallow or keep it "shallow"? Also using two words that sound the same or are the same doesn'...
I really like this poem. It is something many people can relate to. The flow of the poem is good and you really do put emotion into it. Good job :)
As the reader, I can definitly sense the urge you put out in this poetry. The whole work has a nice flow to it, but I think the cadence of the poem would be better if you did not use "wish" twice. During most of the poem you have a first person point of view, but at the end you change to third person. Maybe it would be better if you stuck to first person. I can see why you would change your point of view, but I might be interpreting it differently than you.
Very interesting poem, I haven't seen one quite like this before. You could have added a "q,v,x and" z while typing the poem to make it complete. I enjoyed the last five words the most, but the rest of the poem just seems as if words were put in random order. Although for just a random poem with magnetic tiles, its rather amusing to me as a reader.
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