mm_storyteller's profile

AGE: 20
LOC: Saint Clair, MO
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: October 07

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Version 1

4 Reviews 3 Comments

A Year’s Worth of Personality January…. blasts in full of promises and new challenges. Fresh starts fill the bitter, cold air. While the Earth stays in hibernation, with its white cover. January marks the beginning of the Journey. February…. marches in full of love, but not yet the warmth. She surrounds herself with lingering bare trees, wishing for their color to return. She floats away on a kiss and a lover’s valentine arrow. March ….pops up, teasing of spring, building hope on the light bl...

Talent - Overall

Poetry - Overall

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Reviews

by Matthewtuckey

"This could be why I relentlessly forgave her for her ridiculous behaviour OVER four years." - I changed for to over, it seems to flow better this way, (just my opinion). The tense used in on the first page don't seem to fit with him speaking to himself. Nice, clean cut writing style. One I believe an editor would appreciate. Witty and fun. Good work. Mindy

by jebozid

Very good job. This is entirely original, and that is what I love about it. One thing I think would just add to what you already have, is if there was significance behind where the organs were placed. Bladder in my head? With your talent you could very well put more meaning behind each line with a cause for placement. You can do it. I might take a look at the last line as well, it just seems to interupt the flow a little. "Plate" and "dated", saying them together you wouldn't think they'd rhy...

50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)

by Lizzyerd

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by peejie

For a short poem it evokes the emotion intended; love, passion, heat. I enjoyed it very much. good work keep writing, mm_storyteller

by pixcstxs

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by Winter