mommakabob's profile

This is a great poem,it really made me smile and laugh. There are so many lines that I loved, I started copying and pasting them here and then I realized I had nearly the whole poem! It makes me feel like a kid again ahh to enjoy the simple things. Just a few things: "arcing" I didn't feel like this word fit here. I think another word may help it flow a little better At the end, I like that you tell the reader to write you about them but i feel that this doesn't flow that well either. I wond...

I absolutely love the first two lines. Great job. I think the whole thing is wonderful. You express yourself well with so little words. This is def one of my faves. I actually don't think you should change a thing about it. I think you have a great title here as well! Good Luck!

I mean they’re eyes. I didn't know what you were saying here...they are eyes? I want to know who Zaxxson is, I imagine his brother? That's my guess. This started off really strong and then I just had a hard time understanding the end. Why didn't she want you to look at the garage, she didn't like it? I think this paragraph needs to be expanded upon so that the reader can understand more of what is going on. I guess we just need a little more background thats all, this definitely does have pot...

This is a poem that I can definitely relate to. I loved the ending, good job with this. I just have a few corrections. "You whisper back lie" I think it may sound better plural. "I speak words of hope I love these two lines Selling it like dope" "I must be as high as a kite" It flows better if you take out the first as "But angels play n fight" not really a fan of this line, it seems out of place to me Dam should be damn....sorry I know you didn't want any grammar help, I just couldnt help my...