Oh my goodness , it sounds like something I would do! I like how you said it changed into a 'Jeremy Kyle/ Jerry Springer way' I am sitting up while my family is watching TV laughing hysterically , and at the same time feeling very bad for the six year old you :-) Very good little comedic rant!

Going from the point of view of a small child is very blunt , but reading deeper , it's so deep. I have 2 young children living across the street , who's father is in Iraq , and this captures exactly what it is in there head.... No fear , nothing can ever happen , and the bliss is almost sad...I came near tears reading this , but at the same time , smiling showing my teeth. Keep this up, some people won't get it , but there will always be those touched by this as well!

Well , it was an interesting thing for me... It lacked in description for me , but asside from that , you show a lot of potential... If you open up your noggin of yours , you could be AMAZING! Really , keep at it , a little more description , and you'd be awesome!

Oh my goodness , you are like me! Not because you are a poet , but your emotional length. I love your perspective. I was once almost grabbed in a bathroom when i was younger , and it almost ripped my heart out on the third verse thing. It was almost the same as what was flashing threw my brain at the time...I like how you don't try so hard to rhythm , it was very god. Thanks for sharing it with he world! I look forward to reading from you in some poetry books!

Very creative... Your take on being immortal is so clever... How irrelevant and annoying time would be... And how the 'Blind man reading the news paper' came across so quicly... Great job , I look forward to further writing!

It's a really cool story. It's dramatic but not dark , I like it. As a musician , I understand the obsession with your instrument. I could almost hear the music play as you described your concert scene! Keep up that description , I really love this , I look forward to reading more!

WOOOOW!!!! The description in that was beautiful...It repeats itself at the end , yet changes.... Fruit , waves , sand beneath your feat. It really describes a paradise. I love that a lot , you are quite the poet! I found no mechanical problems , that was very good!

Absolutely stabbing to my heart. Every word I could feel your pain. It was beautiful, I didn't see much wrong with it at all, so I say to you congratulations on a beautiful piece of heart felt pain!

Wow!!! I absolutely relate to your work! The message is so simple, however, the presentation makes it so striking! Death is the downfall of humanity is the message... For death is what brings end to creation to it's end, thus generating fear! GREAT WORK! I love reading everything you do!

It is a good story. The characters all have rather distict personalities so that was very good. A few grammatical errors although I have the same problem SO I won't go too much into that! I enjoyed this I'll be reading more from you soon hopefully :-)