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AGE:
21
LOC: Webb City, MO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 05
LOC: Webb City, MO
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 05
We’ll skip the MySpace nonsense and cut straight to what’s relevant.
I’ve been writing since I learned the language. A hobby that has given me strengths such as a vocabulary triple the size of most of my highschool classmates. Which, sadly, still is not that impressive. My first writing as a short story about a penguin and it was perhaps the stupidest tale you’ll ever come across. I wrote it when I was six and had to ask how to spell equipment.
Since then I’ve composed over 10,000 pages of material, and that’s just the stuff I haven’t lost in one of my nine moves. (My family moves once every two years. Tradition or something.) I’d like to think I’ve gotten a bit better at it since then. But of course you’ll be the judge of that.
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4 Reviews
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The day began at 6:00am on Friday the 12th day of May. My alarm clock was ringing. I had been awake for about five seconds. I have a peculiar habit of waking up several seconds before the thing that is supposed to wake me actually wakes me. Sometimes, if I wake and feel up to it, I’ll roll out of bed, bolt across the room, and try to shut off the alarm clock before it rings. But I rarely make it. This was the first Friday that I was not required to attend school. I was graduating tonight. Lat...
Version 1
6 Reviews
0 Comments
I want you to imagine... the world. Right here in front of the room. Just... floating there. There are seven billion human beings on this rock, seven billion, and each and every one of them is going straight to hell. Straight-to-hell, every last one of them, except for us of course. Back home in my church, my pastor once asked a question that got a few amen’s. He said- “Isn’t it comforting to know that out of all the religions in the world, to know, that you’re following the one that’s right?...
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1 Review
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“Hello?” “Hi, is this Mr. Caleb Halbratt?” “… oh hell.” “Mr. Halbratt?” “Yeah. Yeah that’s me.” “Hello Mr. Halbratt, my name is Gina and I’m calling on behalf of the Calicon Telephone Company to offer you a once in a lifetime opportunity to be one of the first to sign up for the new Calicon nation to nation international wireless phone plan. Now this is an exclusive offer, it is not being offered in any stores at this time. The service offers you free nation to nation calling minutes within ...
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1 Review
0 Comments
Fingers fumbled around inside the cedar drawer. Frantically. Shakily. Trinkets and thimbles and fobs tumbled and rolled out of the wake of the hand scrambling for one particular item. The fingers found their object and closed around it. The cedar drawer slid quickly shut. “Denise?” A thin woman with a mute expression peeked blankly around the corner. “April called earlier, says she wants you to call her back when you get the chance.” “Okay. Thanks mom.” Denise answered. The woman disappeared...
Version 1
2 Reviews
1 Comment
It was another unmarked, unnoticed and completely insignificant Thursday, and Steven Burl was having a barbecue. “Dang it, Steve. Sometimes I feel like I’m married to ya.” “Why’s that, Martin?” Steve retorted from beside the grill. “Because I’m always cooking for you?” Martin, who was reclining in a broad white Adirondack a few leaps before the edge of the pool reached for his glistening glass of lemonade setting peaceably on the lawn table beside him. “I don’t know what it is, but sometimes...
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Reviews
This was interesting. It's always a new experience breaking into a different genre. You've got a feel-good start here, and the opening premise gave me a smile and a curiosity as to where you're going with the idea. The opening was a little fuzzy however. It took me a couple of reads before I understood that the main character was actually a dog. That clarification in the beginning would smooth the road for further details. An investigative narrative with a dog as the main. One of the more ori...
The opening reminds me of a journal entry. Clever, personal, and engaging. Dang. A very engaging tale. Children make excellent instigators of internal conflict. You've written a story that needs expansion. The base is nearly perfect and really does make me want to know more about the remainder. As far as critique I'd have to mention the bit about the mother. This story provided characters with a lively depth, the mother seemed to be a bit off of that. That dialog was amusing, but sounded a bi...
to various ” [to what?] Wow. This is a very interesting first chapter, as far as first impressions go, very good. Very very good. I liked the character, the scene. Could perhaps use a bit more description, the room, the reporters. Give me some space assign to the environment. The character of Orlando is clever and earthen and very likeable, and I like the idea of a writer writing about a writer, rather original. I felt that I was able to well connect with the thoughts and moods of the differe...
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"our cosmic cul-de-sac" Without doubt the most awesome description of earth I have ever heard. For starters, I'll admit. After two full readthroughs I have no idea what this is supposed to be. I gather it's incomplete. The article bounces from topic to familliar topic in a style and language almost completely chaotic yet somehow still connected enough with the human element to be understood. An attempt to explain everything. How expectant that even the attempt should send one instantly spiral...
I love the tone of this piece and the fact that it is so out of place. As if everything happening were just another crisis about which our main character just could not be bothered. "high school cheerleader zombie lurching (lurking?) around..." It really does impress me the variety of ways you've been able to say "dead" throughout this piece... and zombie-me just didn’t know (what?) from doorknobs. This was absolutely brilliant. And I think you've created perhaps my favorite character I've re...
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