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mydandy's profile
AGE:
19
LAST LOGIN: April 29
LAST LOGIN: April 29
My name is Abi, and I am currently living in Minnesota, near the twin cities. I am a Junior in highschool, and I’ve been writing since I was a little girl playing in the sand box. One of my favorite things to do is to make up stories and turn them into songs, especially for children. My main inspiration for writing is my life events and the day dreams that I happen to jot down. I’ve always wanted to become a song writer, but recently I’ve decided to go to college to become a paramedic. I have recently become involved with an amazing guy who has become my muse and I’m hoping that it may rekindle a candle that turns me back on to writing.
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Version 1
9 Reviews
2 Comments
Shivering cold on the steps of your balcony Finding the melody that spikes from my insides to my lips Singing along with the beat of the rain drops that fall onto the tops of my feet Tell me if I’m in tune with the music I can hear your singing, hear your voice bounce off my ears Can I be your duet? I don’t know the words but I can follow along Take me into your grasp Hold me close to keep me from shaking So close as to let me breathe in your breath And as I look into your eyes I can see them...
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Version 1
33 Reviews
0 Comments
Shivering cold on the steps of your balcony Finding the melody that spikes from my insides to my lips Tell me if I'm in tune with the music I can hear your singing, hear your voice bounce off my ears Can I be your duet, I don't know the words but I can follow along Take me into your grasp Hold me close to keep me from shaking So close as to let me breathe in your breath And as I look into your eyes I can see them smiling I wander with them into the depths of your immagination Am I there yet? ...
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That was a very light poem, it holds emotion but sounds like a sunset. My favorite line was "colours fill me with your warmth, varied hughes of golden glows" made me think of the mornings when the sun used to wake me up after sleeping in. I liked your rhyming sceme it suited the lines like sugar on top of cherios, it just fit. Your poem was awesome, hope to read more from you.
Your style reminded me of doctor seus and there was a nice pattern to your lines. I didn't like how you would go by a beat and then change the beat a few lines later when you were still on the same subject. The line "such a sad little girl, open your eyes a bit wider" My mother used to say that to me when she wanted me to clean my room. I loved how you made me think of when I started growing up, it was a nice treat to read your poem.
That was a pretty neat poem, the sense of humor was nice. I didn't like how the sonnet had writing itself as a central focus, but how you portrayed it was cool. Overall I liked reading your sonnet.
Wow, that was awesome! It was almost as if I was sitting there watching you, hurting with you. Loved the line "My stranger had gone But left his mark", we all have "strangers" metaphorical or not who make an impact in our lives. This is something I think any reader can relate to.
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