mykietown's profile

I think this is an interesting premise, almost "La Cage au Faux" in reverse. I saw ch.4-6 in my queue first, but I followed your direction to review this first. I'm curious as to what format you plan to assemble the completed work; will this be a novel? a screenplay? It reads so far like a screenplay/play since it is very dialog driven, with not as much detail given in terms of setting, charcter description, or action. However, it is structured like a novel, with the prompts of the script mis...

I get the impression that courier's belabored deliveries are symbollic of something deeper. I also got a strong sense of poetic style as I read through the piece. It seems to me that your stronger elements are imaginative descrptions that paint the setting in an almost surreal way. Your characters are also very colorful. In particlar, I found the Spanish girl/the courier crush very memorable. In some ways, I think the use of Spanish in the dialouge works to draw in the reader, but I'll add mo...

It is clear through the piece that you and Anthony had a very complicated relationship. The emotions you experienced throughout this time came through every paragraph. Adding to the mix Anthony's terminal illness, I could understand what motivated you to put your feelings for this man to writing. The question I have is if your intention with this non-fiction piece is to create an overall story, or is this a general reflection of your history with Anthony? As I read the piece, I could not quit...

To me this reads more like a monologue from a play rather than a short story in first person perspective. I say that since the narrator is telling everything that happens, rather than showing it through her words. We see that from the first line of the story: "I'm a mother, a good mother, and a determined one." It's one thing for a reader to read this, but it's an entirely different experience for the reader to come to this conclusion through their own assessment of what was written. If that ...

I get the sense that Tommy is somewhat aware of his own disconnectedness with the world, but seems to accept it. I appreciate the way the storyline goes back and forth between Tommy's daydreams and his interactions with reality, and how one tends to interfere with the other. They are clear transitions, and as I reader I did not have any difficulty distinguishing between the two. I particularly liked his eccentricities, leaving money and notes in various books, and his dishiveled appearance. I...