mykietown's profile

I get the sense that the unfolding story will revolve between Alan and Angelique, and that it will be a tragic love story. You have a strong sense of both of these characters. I appreciate the contrast you've put into describing these two, Angelique being young, sheltered, plucky, and adventurous, and Alan being rough and tumble, yet thoughtful and affectionate. You're also very efficient in delivering the action throughout the chapter, which can be both good and bad...more on that later. The...

I got an immediate sense of the character early on, especially with the descriptions over his interest in photography. I like how the interst in photography compensates for his weakness in remembering things, and as a "crutch" to relate to others, or even to function in life. The conversational style of the narration adds to the person's character. That being said, the other elements in the story, mainly setting and plot, are not as well represented in the piece as character. Granted, stories...

I think this is an interesting premise, almost "La Cage au Faux" in reverse. I saw ch.4-6 in my queue first, but I followed your direction to review this first. I'm curious as to what format you plan to assemble the completed work; will this be a novel? a screenplay? It reads so far like a screenplay/play since it is very dialog driven, with not as much detail given in terms of setting, charcter description, or action. However, it is structured like a novel, with the prompts of the script mis...

I get the impression that courier's belabored deliveries are symbollic of something deeper. I also got a strong sense of poetic style as I read through the piece. It seems to me that your stronger elements are imaginative descrptions that paint the setting in an almost surreal way. Your characters are also very colorful. In particlar, I found the Spanish girl/the courier crush very memorable. In some ways, I think the use of Spanish in the dialouge works to draw in the reader, but I'll add mo...

It is clear through the piece that you and Anthony had a very complicated relationship. The emotions you experienced throughout this time came through every paragraph. Adding to the mix Anthony's terminal illness, I could understand what motivated you to put your feelings for this man to writing. The question I have is if your intention with this non-fiction piece is to create an overall story, or is this a general reflection of your history with Anthony? As I read the piece, I could not quit...