nekojubei's profile
AGE:
27
LOC: Manteca, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 29
LOC: Manteca, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: October 29
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The Upside of the World |chapter two| Bloated Ants and Fancy Pants “Shoo, Sun. Go away! Go back to where you came from. And don’t you dare turn around, or you’ll turn into salt. Daddy said that’s what happened to Lot’s wife and I hope it happens to you too!” I said. I stood upside-down in a grassy dell, my face glowing red, the color from my lips almost completely drained. My hair was standing straight down and sweeping against the floor as I swayed my head from left to right in frustration. ...
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Version 1
14 Reviews
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|The Upside of the World| |chapter one| Of Moons and Dogs One night in bed I had a dream, a dream to say the least. As I looked out onto the starry dais from the window nearest my bed I saw, rolling backwards and forwards upon the horizon, the great full moon. Like a nickel on twine it rolled, swaying left to right bumping the stars that raised their fists in anger and grimaced in spite. Now on several occasions I have had the pleasure of meeting him and to my surprise, again this evening it ...
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very amusing. are you familiar with david cronenberg? very reminiscent to "videodrome" and his "naked lunch" film adaptation in it's quirkiness. i'm assuming the paris in this drabble is paris hilton (as evidenced by the "hot" reference). i like that she tries to get pregnant and that she doesn't realy understand the consequences of the pregnancy. hilarious and interesting. if your other stories are as peculiar, i would definitely snag your collection of "drabbles."
This is a very cute piece of work, just imagining the stylized watercolor painting of an elephant named Eloise. While the moral of the story is in tact I'd have to say my biggest gripe was the flow of the poem. Some sentences strain the rhythm, meaning that it's hard to "cull a beat" since some of it seems off or syncopated (which is fine for non-rhyming stories, but hard once you develop a rhythm in the poem). For example: "Eloise the elephant was different, shall we say, for there were days...
Coming into this at the second part I have to say this is a very interesting piece of work. Steeped in Egyptian mythology you have been able to craft your own individual story alongside (or on top of) said mythos. While your prose is extraordinary, the amount of detail in your story is both accurate, relevant and even beautiful. It's obvious that this is a well-planned story benefiting from extensive Egyptian knowledge (both of Mythology and Practical Living). It adds a sense of credibility a...
What can I say? Your poems are very creative and highly amusing. Some of the best stuff I've read on Urbis thus far. I had my twelve year old sister read them and she had a smile on her face the entire time. "Fishing" is my favorite, conveying both the impatience of children and an almost allegorical wit; a cautionary tale of the virtue of patience. The same goes with "Flea" which has no pre-mediditated moral but is still amusing by way of it's witty ending. I'm not much of a poetry-reader bu...
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