nelson1's profile
AGE:
38
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 14
LOC: United Kingdom
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: August 14
Hello! to all you fellow writers,poets and critics.
My name is Maria.I am aged 38
I live in Newcastle-upon-Tyne in England,I guess that makes me a Geordie.
I,ve been writing on and off for about 13 years. I would say my style is to have no style in particular; as I write whatever I feel; whenever I feel it, I guess you could say I,m a free spirit.
I don,t really consider myself as educated in English literature,though I have done some creative writing courses. My work isn’t based on education it is based on my life experiences, observations and emotions.
I also like a good debate.
I do like good advice re- writing skills as I enjoy learning as I go. I dislike having books rammed down my throat or pompous elitist arrogan…
Items
Version 6
31 Reviews
14 Comments
Cats are very clever creatures. I have an outdoor cat I call Speckles, although he is all black. Other times I call him my little black panther as he is lean, sleek and muscular. He always looks after his coat. He can be both cute and vicious. In the morning when he wants his early meal, he snuggles in for an hour or two then purrs and rubs his nose in my face until I give up and get out of bed to feed him. If I'm really tired I go back to bed, I think he hopes I'll forget I fed him so tries ...
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Reviews
The lines I cum first as do you don't really make sense. as if you cum first then he couldn't of. or you both must of cum at the same time. I think puctuation would of benifited it(not for reading, as it was easy to read as written, but for to emphasise expression). I like that this is a woman author too expressing how sex makes her feel. Having said that it is a bit raunchy for my taste, but is good writing IMO. Honeyed lips is a bit cliche, but loved Raking nails, I like hairy chests too :)
I'm not sure if the opening line is about the rape or the giving birth, this needs clarity- Suggest opening line as- 'She was terrified, she couldn't believe this was happening.' -then leave it at that-(if it is the rape occuring), This will also clarify the tenses in the story, ie, it seemed-it's happening. Para two-suggest - full-stop after 'loner'. Then - She was born into a Mexican/Catholic family to a steelworker father. The family lived in an all white Chicago neighbourhood as one of tw...
I think this is a generic, 'I'm a vampire story', But I really liked the ending thought that was very clever. I think if you expanded on it, such as how you became a vampire. the desciptions of your blood lust are well done but it is cliche to lots of other books I've read on this subject. I like his regret of loosing the human self, like its a time that has passed, then into the, but now im a hunter phase. the story is well written , no obvious typo's
The daggers on his belt. Did he have more than 1, suggest describing them so the reader can visualise them.descriptions- a crude sign-crude brush strokes, suggest not using same description in the same para twice, same here, old Osferd an sorry old arse, suggest removing the first 'old'I think there is too much written on the fact that the Tavern meeting being'not a good idea, the reader gets that message earlier.her prime was come and gone(grammar) suggest, her prime had been and gone.This c...
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