i am not sure is this story really the true part of your life or just part of your imagination as a story. if it is a story, then you have did a good job in making it clear about anorexia and the pain people have to suffer from it. but if it is your true experience, then i would strongly recommend you to be strong and get help together with your boyfriend. however you stressed quite heavy on numbers, example: "After about 30 minutes...", "... fact that 35 minutes ago...", about the weight and...

You were able to capture the emotion of the soldiers. And you have done a good job in describing the soldier's love and the hope to end the war. I like the part of "Thousands of men are sacrificing their lives for nothing...stand upon the broken bodies of yesterday’s companions?! " You deserved credit in that. They just don't know the agony of soldiers have to face on the field or they just don't want to know. However I have to agree to some of them that leisure ravage is better than "leisure...

Wonderful piece of work. it stirred me & made me thought of my last relationship. i shared the pain in the last line "Though I wonder if I’ll ever share in another’s love again." it was really hard during the initial stage still we have to move on. life never stop its footstep whether you are sad or happy. broken as we are, we have to find a way to get on with our life. keep up the good work. :-)

nice piece of work and good job in giving the description. but to me, sometime there are too much information. the details given was too much and often i have to stop, reread and think about the scene that you are describing. there are too many "... and ...". i understand that you wanted to elaborate on the environment and the emotion of the character but sometime too much details can spoil the fun. there was one part "... Mr. Glans was speaking talking about," which i think you can just use ...

well written piece of work you got there. your work can be consider as a movie or animation script because it was short yet pack with the action a movie need. i personally like all the fighting scene you wrote especially the part kali fought the dogs. but you missed out a spelling there. it should be "three bleeding scratches on ITS face." rather than "...is face..." also you have put in few parts of romance (atleast i think it was) to make the story more like a movie. just that was kind of o...

good story you got there and i enjoyed it. keep up the good work. :-) because i was not familiar with gypsy tales, i was kind of confuse with the story. you mentioned that there was a man rowing to the wife but at the end you said "three glenfnaeg brothers left soon after that", so the 3 brothers were there or only one? also were both the couples were already swan at the beginning of the story or they were changed into swan by magic?

i understand you were frustrated and angry during the time you wrote your work. i also understand you were dissapointed in your love life. but i would suggest that you go through your work again because there were quite some mistakes in your work like spelling, flow of the sentences and punctuations. your work would be better if those mistakes were attended to accordingly. keep up the good work. :-)

your story is short yet straight to the point. there are a lot of adjective describing more of the scene and i like the part you describe the emotion of the guy from his frustration, his memory and his anger (pushed the table, slamming of the door). and you end it really well with the closure that men thought they could cheat on their girl but not the other way.

Hi, thanks for the invitation. you got a wonderful work there. :-) I like your title and you end it with "keep the change". Nice work. But what is a D train? Sorry to ask because I am not from your place.

I like your poetry. It is a nice twist that you put the animals in action and you will sit quietly as a girl. Maybe you can build this piece and write something about your soul searching.