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nickbonelli's profile
AGE:
25
LOC: Sautee Nacoochee, GA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 07
LOC: Sautee Nacoochee, GA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 07
I am studying literature and philosophy; I love music, history, physics, theology, art, philosophy, coffee, chess, and discussion. I look forward to learning from everyone here, and I hope to put out some work for everyone to see soon.
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“Behold! The Pharisees and the Sadducees” or “A Preface to the Collected Works of Calvin Lurthe” Calvin Lurthe, still harboring early morning’s foggy grogginess, walked through the propped open double doors of the First Baptist Church of America, and mumbled his hello's to the meet and greeters. One of the men handed him a service program and told him how glad he was to see him at church; Pat Benedict asked him how come he hadn’t been in a while: two months by the old man’s reckoning; about t...
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Walden, Thoreauly interesting reading As an English major, and as a citizen of the United States, I have been very disappointed by the small amount of quality art that has been produced by my countrymen. Any English major can tell you: the greats of our language usually hail from Great Britain. We have Poe and Hawthorne, Fitzgerald and Faulkner, but no Shakespeare, Milton, or Byron. Where is our Wordsworth or Coleridge? Dickinson and Frost are notable, but after that I’m somewhat at a loss. ...
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Sky and Earth: Who first split you asunder? Your divorce and violent parting Is man's biggest blunder. Raging Heresy, So sleeping therapy, Ignorant and lied to bound up and tied, too This: Oblivion.
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O man, O man! In weeping, You only weep for yourself. Shedding tears over your fears, While you put it on the shelf. Reach in, and introspect, An infinitude of finite boundary; Trust in, thrust in, And there circumvent. -Mr. Why
Version 1
13 Reviews
5 Comments
Everything was ready. My heart pounded, and I could feel the blood crashing in waves throughout my body. I took a last look at the room, at my bed, closet, desk, and bookshelves. The feeling rose up in me: nervousness, excitement, hope and despair. Despair because of uncertainty. It felt like a dream, when you forget everything that worries your mind, and everything is wonder-filled. The pit of my stomach was convulsing with the nervous excitement, and I felt a power surge urge me forward. I...
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Reviews
I liked the message of this piece, but there were some problems I had with the punctuation. Mainly, because there wasn't any. Although the piece flowed nicely, it probably could have been better with some commas. Again, the subject matter was great. I got some pretty good images out of it-an old man in a workshop, a mob of grandkid, an old bible. Overall, I liked it, but I think it needs a little something else to put it over the edge. Keep up the good writing!
This story is okay, but needs something more to spice it up. One thing that is not attractive is the meta-dialogue, or the jokes during narraration. A new color called concussion is not funny. I would maybe give it some more depth. Tell us about the character's background. Give us some metaphysical understanding of his situation--something. Overall it was okay, but I would not read it for enjoyment.
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Great writing! The style was great, and I detected very few errors. To answer your questions: 1. I do feel sympathy for the character. Everytime she seems about to have freedom, that freedom is interupted by unfairtreatment and thoecratic propoganda. I do not feel as if the story really addresses international counterfitting at all-- it seems to just be a detail. Great job so far, and I want to see where you go with this.
Well, I'm not sure what it is that you want out of this piece. If its just for fun, than...I'm sure you had fun. But if you want others to read this and enjoy it... Its full of cheap, cheesy laughs: -Nazi Penguins -Dick Furry -Meta dialogue It seems like you were trying to write a spoof on Adams stuff, and have it preformed by the cast of mad tv. The curse words get old very fast, and things like hobos urinating on sleeping passangers may be funny in the movies, but writing is a different mat...
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