nitsujiy's profile
AGE:
20
LOC: Folsom, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: February 12
LOC: Folsom, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: February 12
This user has not yet uploaded an urbis user description/profile.
Items
Version 1
14 Reviews
2 Comments
dirt, dirt once a man scratched out of the earth into the palm of her hand the child pierces my eyes images unwind from hers into mine humble, empty home i'm longing for her laughter, she can't be alone dirt spills to the floor i'm broken, on my knees, can't take it no more
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
i'm shellshocked by it all; this is going to take some time to get used to. the people here are easier to talk to, but harder to get to know; they're different, you know, not like the ones we grow at home. they sleep through lunar eclipses because they can always watch 'em on TV; to me, honestly, they need priority fixes. out here, i can see stars on the street but never in the sky, so what do i wish on? the truth is, the ways i knew how to wish won't work anymore because this is, after all, ...
Version 1
0 Reviews
0 Comments
a pulse, a pulse, a pulse of morning showers prodded my eyes open today. but it’s not like i was sleeping well; in fact, i haven’t for nights. i stay up late again and again, relating to songs reborn in my imagination: _you gave me nothing, now it’s all i’ve got._ i sang this song, once upon a time; now, i’ve become the song, it’s under my skin, i bleed the notes and melodies. and i see me in your eyes, when you smile, when you cry, when you sleep. do you?
Version 1
1 Review
0 Comments
science tells us they're the aftermath of evaporation, but my spiritual intuition calls them Heaven's rejects. the hopeful drops of rain don't make the cut, and so they fall, soaking us in their disappointment. there's always next year.
Version 1
3 Reviews
1 Comment
let him in your window, play hide-and-seek with his shadow, pack your nothings and believe in a place only we can see, where we'll never grow old, we'll be kids forever, getting lost with the boys, no worries to weather, except for maybe the pirates, but they're a hook and shoe in. when the big hand claps the small: midnight, it's time to take off, take flight-- the cheshire cat smiles, the stars wink, we're shooting across the sky-- slow down, Tink! she's jealous of you, she's the selfish ki...
[ View all items ]
Reviews
my facial features, body parts, and organs have all lost it. the canyon stanza was your strongest, barely beating out the screaming ending. i think my ears started crying.
the first stanza's foggy frustration snaps the next one wide awake, and the blinking vacancy sign serves well. i think the structure is okay, it makes for a slower, colder read.
i can hear you speaking the second stanza. it sounds so familiar. did you perform this one, too? can't remember. you walked me through your head with this one, joon. i really like the feeling "fog" gives off, it tends to show up throughout your work. fog, mist, sea. "and our interlocked hands numb and able to tell where I ended and she began" was my favorite line. very intense, very cool.
Ah. Borders! You've polished it since then, as always. I can hear you laughing over "I am not in control of why and where I go / I just know I am riding the J down Embarcadero." What is "a handful of tears and a bundle of misplaced tears"? It sounds great, but what does it mean? The hook is killer. And of course you can perform it as spoken word. You just need a sexy guitarist.
going back, the humility of the believes ducking their heads and the reference to your height isn't as bothersome as i initially thought. i don't know if it's because of our dialogue, but it's not too confusing. you were shorter then, and didn't believe, didn't duck like the rest. "Mrs. Hong was red with murder" can be taken literally. Like, she was killed that morning. someone shot through the glass. i like this ending much better with the fog turning black.
[ View all reviews ]
Favorites
People









