noir's profile
AGE:
36
LOC: Portland, OR
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 26
LOC: Portland, OR
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 26
Portland area Editor & Technical Writer. I have an obsession with reading (blogs, articles, mostly). An avid gamer, I can’t do the twitch games anymore. My reaction time has dwindled and my fingers aren’t as limber as they used to be. I’m learning to enjoy the psychology and strategy involved in Poker.
I believe microcontent is the way of the future, because attention spans of the world are getting much shorter in our complex societies. One must convey themselves quickly and effectively, and it must be done simply. If we do the opposite, we are failing to properly communicate. And I believe communication is key to any interchange of information. There is no good or bad writing, only good or bad communication. So first and foremost, ...
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Version 2
1 Review
0 Comments
Glistening red ruby Softness still. An ultimate haiku. Her lips.
Version 1
7 Reviews
0 Comments
First off, they should have titled this game: Usability Disaster Skating: Punishment 8 I haven't really been into the Tony Hawk franchise of games since, oh, ... college; (I won't date myself by telling you how long ago that was--or the versions of the games I played, for that matter). Suffice it to say, Neversoft has finally ridden this franchise into an ugly nosedive, ala skateboarding on gravel. It's difficult to say why. Some might say the original audience for the game has mostly outgrow...
Version 1
4 Reviews
2 Comments
Glistening red, ruby softness, still. An ultimate haiku. Your lips.
Version 1
14 Reviews
2 Comments
My elbows hurt, but there aren’t any seats left inside the crammed waiting room, and they don’t let you smoke in there anyway. I’m leaning on the black iron railing along the upstairs walkway — outside of the free clinic — checking out the newly-paved parking lot through my veil of cigarette smoke, looking west, across the whole city of Denver: past the bright glass skyscrapers that poke through the smog like syringes. The snow-covered mountains along the horizon look like some dead person co...
Version 1
5 Reviews
0 Comments
I Aint gonna have no Merican dream aint gonna have no merican dream aint gonna kill Iraqis for no merican dream aint gonna kill Vietcong for no merican dream aint gonna kill mom for no merican dream aint gonna kill Commies for no merican dream aint gonna drop boms for no merican dream aint gonna kill dad for no merican dream aint gonna kill ozone for no merican dream aint gonna kill peace for no merican dream aint gonna kill God for no merican dream aint gonna die for no merican dream aint go...
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Reviews
This is quite simple, but also hauntingly deep and well-executed. The lines you have chosen to emphasize show a clear knowledge of good poetry, thankfully, finally. I don't understand why Odds in Favor is the title, because this doesn't seem to be about a vote or gambling, but rather there is the mathematical equation imagery that you illustrate quite well. The title doesn't do any justice to your thematics, but the poem is quite strong. The end is quite weak, and I suspect, purposefully done...
I think the opening of this chapter is somewhat weak. You could really start off the chapter on a stronger edge by starting with action and eliminating the first paragraph's exposition. Remember: Show, don't tell. For instance, you wrote: "He told all of them that no mercenaries had followed them from Havon. Sundra was glad that there were no one chasing them but Jorn didn’t seem to be relieved by that fact and he gave her a look of concern as he said the news." This would be more interesting...
I really feel like you have a firm grasp of what poetry is based on this poem. You're rhymes are subtle, rather than devolving into childish verse. Your descriptions are gorgeous and varied. What I love most about your style in this poem is that you have express something that cannot be taught: music. Your words flow like a song. It's something many people try to do their entire life and rarely accomplish well. That is your talent. I agree that your ending is a bit difficult and seems to come...
Line 1: misspelling of "through". Why the choice to start line 3 capitalized? In fact, the decision to start every line with a capital causes difficulty in reading. Starting with a capital is a way to emphasize a line or text. If you use it everywhere, it loses its effect and does the opposite by causing a distraction from the flow of your poem. I like the alliteration in "I drink and smoke and Wonder if a friend will show." It's not a blatant rhyme, which is nice. Subtlety gives it value. I'...
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