nothing's profile

nothing avatar
AGE: 24
LOC: Australia
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: June 11

I know I’m not the most talented writer in the world but hopefully my imagination will offer something different.

Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Short Story / The Power of Words
Version 1
6 Reviews   4 Comments
On one of my earlier trips to Vietnam I was travelling around on a guided tour when we stopped out the front of several shops. The tour guide explained that we had half an hour to explore but I was more interested in getting out of this terrible humidity. I walked past a shop that was selling wood carvings and noticed a cool breeze escaping from its open door, I quickly turned and entered the store. I wandered around the shop feigning an interest but in truth I was only interested in the air ...
Ratings & Rankings
Short Story / River Boat Dream
Version 1
2 Reviews   0 Comments
After an exhausting day the couple slowly slipped into bed. The man had been away from some time and only just returned from a business trip. Although the day had taken its toll on both of them they both sort the contact that had been missing for weeks. They pulled each other closer under the pure white sheets. The woman reached across and kissed the man on his lips and they both fell to sleep with their foreheads resting on one another. * The young boy and girl broke away from the dinner. Th...
Ratings & Rankings
Short Story / Apartment Block
Version 1
8 Reviews   4 Comments
Apartment Block I walk across to the window and pull open the curtains. There isn’t a breath of air and not a cloud in the night sky. The moon radiates onto the streets and all around me the city lights glow. I step out onto the balcony with my noodle box and continue to eat my dinner. I feel the night slowly invade my body as I become just another part in this large city. All around me the city breathes and groans. Car horns and people talking as they walk under me don’t seem to interrupt bu...
Ratings & Rankings
Short Story / Road Train
Version 1
9 Reviews   6 Comments
Road Train I’ve just left a family dinner and I’ve just jumped onto the freeway. There isn’t a lot of traffic at this time of night and I have free rein over a whole lane for as far as I can see. It has recently been raining and the roads have been washed clean. Puddles gather at irregular intervals down the freeway. I turn the radio off and tune in my iPod. As the music finds its place within the car I start to tune out. I always enjoy driving after rainfall because everything seems to engul...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Short Story / Water Under the Bridge
I really enjoyed reading this. The section about the bridge is awesome, great use of your imagination. You were building up for a big ending and you kind of left me there waiting for something to happen. Maybe it would be a bit too predictable if they had of jumped but I think if you wanted to change or try something maybe a more powerful ending? Also some background on what they used to be like, maybe a description of the proposal in detail. I felt sorry for Shannon when she ended up with su...
That was awesome! I've been looking for a different short story on Urbis for a few days and this one hit the spot! Your use of language is amazing and the imagery you projected with those words hit the spot. I loved the characters as well. If I thought I could write like this with concussion I'd be smacking myself on the head this very minute!
Short Story / Smoke
The story flowed alright but in my head I kept thinking "Is it possible to smoke that many cigarettes one after the other?" and also seeing the room full of smoke so foggy you couldn't see the person next to you. A bit of historical information on the characters also would have helped to see why they were so uneasy about having just slept with one another. Also what did the note say? I think that could have added to the ending.
Short Story / If Persuasion Works
To be honest it was average. I'd of course like to find out what the accident was about but I found it kind of lame that it tied into the beginning with the donkey and roster. The use of humour at the beginning was good, I did chuckle inside. If you know what the accident is then I think it is definitely worth converting into a longer short story.
100.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
Short Story / Sunday Morning
I've written something similar after a bender but I think you did it better! Reading it you took me into his/her world. To break up the story a bit maybe you could have the character doing a few more things or think back to the weekend that has just passed. Was the weekend worth it? The character says never again but was it really a good weekend and now they are suffering because of it? I liked it, well done.
Favorites
People