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now_collapse's profile
AGE:
17
LOC: Canada
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 28
LOC: Canada
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: April 28
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Items
Version 1
8 Reviews
0 Comments
You used to be full of pride, Now you let her treat you like dirt. You set yourself up for pain And you complain when it hurts. It never used to be like this; You have always seemed so strong. I thought you'd put an end to it, Not take it for so long. You must feel it so much more If it's even hurting me. Please just open your eyes And accept what you see. The glow that used to shine in you Whenever she was around, Has yeilded to show a pain That shouldn't exist to be found. Stop letting her ...
Version 1
3 Reviews
0 Comments
It was raining quite hard, but that wasn’t going to stop Michelle from walking home on the dark road that night. The party she’d been at had gotten out of hand, and she had no desire to be there anymore. She’d have just as enjoyable of a time at home; after all, it was the last night she’d get to spend with her family before her brother went away to college. It was only a 15-minute walk to the nearest gas station, and she could call her mom for a ride from there. Sean fumbled with getting his...
Version 1
4 Reviews
0 Comments
Slowly she clamped her fingers down on the squirming, ugly creature. It stared into her eyes in panic, not understanding why death was to come upon it so quickly. The answer was quite simple for any logical mind. It had bothered her. Everything that moved had begun to bother her. Spiders being no exception; therefore just being alive was a reason for it to be dead. Just a few months prior, she would have jumped at the mere thought of any type of bug being near her, nevermind touching the thin...
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Reviews
Maybe it could be funny as a joke skit. The words would have to be changed to seem more casual, because it seems too formal. The storyline is potentially funny though. Try collaborating with someone who's first language is English and get them to change it around a little bit.
It was written well, but it seemed like it went nowhere. It might work if it was part of a bigger piece, but on its own it's not very effective. Keep working on it and maybe expand it a bit. :)
I liked it. :) Not what I was expecting... at all. No grammar or spelling mistakes that jumped out, and fun to read. Good job.
0.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
It wasn't really that funny. It was extremely "been there, felt that", but not so funny. If everyone posted a funny or ironic conversation they had, this site would be overflowing.
Honestly, this is one of the first humor pieces I've read that I actually found funny. Thank you. Haha, it's defenitely something I wouldn't mind reading more of. Also, there were no spelling or grammar mistakes that jumped out at me, so it was very easy to just read and enjoy. GOod job. :)
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