okthomasc's profile
AGE:
47
LOC: Kiefer, OK
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: March 03
LOC: Kiefer, OK
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: March 03
I am a 46 year-old mother, grandmother and wife who lives in Oklahoma. I enjoy writing and have so many ideas that I can’t seem to get started on something.
I hope to hone my writing skills here to become a better writer.
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Version 2
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Jacob was lying on the grass near the pond looking up at the sky. He wasn’t sure he had ever seen it so blue and wondered if the storm had anything to do with the brilliant color. The storm had been wicked and brought a lot of destruction to the communities around them, but his family’s farm had been spared. None of the crops were destroyed, all of the livestock was accounted for and the house was intact, yet much of the surrounding property had been damaged or destroyed. As Jacob lay there,...
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Version 1
9 Reviews
5 Comments
Jacob was lying on the grass near the pond looking up at the bright blue sky. He wasn’t sure he had ever seen the sky so blue. He wondered if the storm had brought the blue skies. The storms had been very wicked and had brought a lot of destruction to the communities around them, but his parent’s farm had been spared. None of the crops were destroyed, all of the livestock was accounted for and the house was intact, yet everything around their property had been damaged in someway. This mornin...
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Reviews
haha....I loved this one and it is true what it says about the masters of one! You did good with this one. I truly like it.
this seems to be really sad. I am venturing to guess that this is about a man who is an alcoholic who wants to get better but doesn't know how to get back up on the wagon again, so to speak. Is this about someone actually talking to the man or is it just the man himself thinking to himself? I am guessing that he isn't sure he wants the alcoholism to get better by the end of the poem though. Not bad but was kind of hard for me to follow. It talks about the little boy and it kind of lost me.
Wow...short and to the point. I have been to this point many many times before. You get to the heart of it right away. You do need to go back and check your spelling though. You have one word spelled wrong and the punctuation is wrong too. Over all it is great though.
You have taken the bird and made me see and hear the song. I especially like "It is a beautiful scene, unmolested by the perverted mind of mankind." We have molested many of natures resources and I just wonder what the other species think of us.
This isn't bad. I am still reading alot of poetry so I can understand it better. My interpretation of your poem is that there is a failed relationship and this character is hurt by this due to the promise that was made and broken. I like it and to equate it with a death on target. We go through cycles in life and death is a part of it whether it be an actual death or a symbolic death. Good work.
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