otooleuia's profile

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AGE: 29
LOC: Rancho Cucamonga, CA
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: April 24

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Items
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
Felt up and left in obscurity Beat down with lack of maturity Can’t realize your behind the lines Faded and diseased from life’s crimes “Kill me” you yell to the empty night sky Why can’t you take my pointless life Leave me like you always did so well Alone and crying, left to dwell “Save me” you yell to the mirror in front of you What can you do to not have the judgement of a fool Moral canopy left dry from lack of paint Mind fragile and easy to taint “I don’t want to die” you yell as death...
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Version 3
1 Review   0 Comments
One query and seven thoughts at once 0- Desperate decisions made so forcefully Who will appreciate the lives given up? Will we be forgotten so soon? Are we thinking too deep in shallow water? 1- Retched hands of butchery is where we find peace. Diseased, plagued and left to writhe 2- Feel the fever as it grips you internally. Insanity lurks not just in the back of my mind. It’s beyond searching, it’s gnawing at me. Taking every step and making them incoherent. 3- Drowning in your self-procla...
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Reviews
Poetry / Stones
I would personally right it this way to make more sense. It is a good poem and I think you have a great way with words. Stones don’t stop being on This pathway through leafy woods No matter the way the wind blows Or the autumn colors fall Through springs of ever flowing rain With summers crowded with fun And winters of natures secular's freeze I hate when people tell me what to write but I felt these words when I read your poem.
Poetry / untitled
I like what you have written. It is a style that I like to read. It really sends my imagination into full effect with each sentence, keep up the good work. Sometimes no title is needed.
Poetry / Blood Rules
I like the way it is put together. I think this is something that is better the more times you read it.
I like the warm feeling I got when I read this, it reminded me of driving on the open road and letting my mind wander into creativity. Very Good
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