para13's profile

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AGE: 34
LOC: Maspeth, NY
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: July 07

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Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Version 1
11 Reviews   1 Comment
It was a night like no other, not any different than the last. It wasn’t any different than last night, or the night before that, or the night before that. The only thing that was remotely different was that it was eerily cold outside for just being the end of Summer. It being a Friday night, Roger had hoped that work was going to be better than the weekdays. It was raining now. Rain was always good for business. People come and go; and especially in the city people don’t care. They would go...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
8 Reviews   0 Comments
INT. A PRIEST BEDROOM -- NIGHT A slim, tall and relatively unassuming priest sits down to write in his daily journal. It is FATHER GREG SHAW, He is the same Shaw we met before but now in catholic priest garb. This is not the world we all know. This is the same Greg Shaw. He goes to grab the rosary beads and kisses them softly. He reaches again for his pen. As he writes we can hear his thoughts. FATHER SHAW Today we buried another young man. He could not have been more than seventeen or eighte...
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Screenplay / For I Have Sinned
Version 1
24 Reviews   1 Comment
FOR I HAVE SINNED EXT. DESERT -- DAY On a cracked desert floor, a battered middle-aged man lay on his back baking in the sun. He is wounded, hurt, and halfway on his way to eternity. He bears a worn-out army jacket and frayed combat boots. The glare of the sun is blinding and the heat is now unbearable for the heavily clothed man. Suddenly a single rock, about the size of a half dollar, is thrown from an unknown source landing squarely on the man's forehead. It wakes him from his death nap. T...
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Reviews
Action Adventure / The Southeastern Adventures
Locked
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Prologue
Locked
I'm not a professional at all, but a fan of good writing and somewhat of a novice writer myself. I thought that the story so far is well written and clear and has the hook to keep the writer interested. It's not particuarly my favorite genre but I see where the author was heading and was a nice touch with the traveler being something a prophet-like creature. I still would've liked to have read more to see where it was going and the true power the orb had and what the council of elders were wo...
Sci Fi & Fantasy / Juunigatsu Ame: Chapter One
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Sci Fi & Fantasy / The Ancient Child : Prologue
First off, the writing is very desrscriptive and paints a colorful picture. It leads the reader but doesn't compleatly tell them exactly everything. There are enough things going on that the reader himself can catch and can envision any way they choose. This could work as a book as well as a movie screenplay as I could see how they could make the world with the whole cgi and make the seer's scene a real action grabber. As far as the prolouge goes, at frist it seemed a bit long but it started ...
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