parametric's profile

Wow. You don't need any advice I could give you. Sweet, funny and beautifully judged - I'd buy it. :) (What's malt? I'm thinking toffee?) (Did you try commercial publishers before you went with Lulu?)

Excellent query - professional and well-written. Now I'm going to list some tiny complaints so you can make it even better. - Careful of the occasional redundant turn of phrase. For example, here you used two clauses where one would do: "a storm is on the way and change is in the wind". - Consider deleting the line "She is an extraordinary woman who lives an ordinary life and I believe that most women who read this book will relate to her in one way or another". The first half has already bee...

Dramatic, suspenseful and well-written. You have a particularly good grasp of how to release information to the reader - there is not a single clanging line or infodump here. I'm also impressed that the narrator is in such a subservient position, but still comes across as a strong character in the way that she reacts to the severed head thing. I'm left with intriguing questions. Definitely would turn the page. Constructive suggestions: You might want to give it another round of proofreading n...