i gave you a 10 for make people laugh out loud because i did i loved the beginning part with Bridgette and Edwin especially the very sexist lines i'm not sexist at all but m currently producing a comedy centered around those types of things "Lancie-lot" is another favorite i also like how you added Robin hood in i was expecting a Robin similar to Python's it was very entrtaining indeed id love to see this performed on stage id also like to see how everything plays out as well break a leg rega...

this kind of gives me a feeling of th play "The Crucible" and that's a good thing as well after reading this i also believe that who ever is going to play Von Solvig needs to be a good actor although i do think this would be difficult to portray on stage this has a very gripping story line as well i'd love to see it in production regards -kyle-

the begging lines and the flow and the use of the "or" sound was done very well i liked reading this piece it had a nice feeling to it i like how the kind of nostalgic sentimental feelings in the begging morphed into regret in a sence very well done regards -kyle-

i liked the addition of Phil Collins in the end and the egyptian's last line also you were right about this being bad i do like it though i picture butch as a kind of hyper-realistic person kind of like RSC's interpretation of Tidus Andronicas or how ever you spell it i think you should go over a little bit more character development with butch his actions seem a bit repetative maybe that was intentional i dont know any way this was a horribly good screen play regards -kyle-

one thing i noticed in the beggining is that it jumps up o you really fast i like to leave the object of question in the audience's mind im referring to Nex's 1st line here i dunno just a small thing as i began reading i dont know if you are familiar with japanese theatre but they have a stage manager that acts minor character roles n the play then performs asides to the adience filling in with bits of narration im horrible at explaining things but look into maybe incorporating some of those ...

im commenting as im reading this and o far i do like it the vietnam war is a very itersting yet difficult topic in itself to write about the beggining lines of the general are really well put at first though i thought it was WWII then found out otherwise this must be later in the war too because if it was earlier, which im sure you know, the gen ould not have said that loved the Jesus's execution bit great characterization think a follow up to his should be from a us soldier were they colect ...

The character development and descriptions are very well done in this piece it felt it very easy to relate to the characters Tisha's and the others actions and thoughts are very logical which all pretty much makes sense considering this is nonfiction although i find it very difficult to capture the essence and sheer beauty of real life experiences in a detailed and novel like way you have accomplished this, quite well i might add another challenging thing about this is that you are writing ab...

it is very difficult to pick up on a piece of work without reading what eas written before and still maintain continuity and interest throughout the writing when reading this though i was able to pick up on it and make sense of things and keep my interst i liked reading this very much regards -kyle-

I can relate to this piece. My father past away when i was 12 and i still havent gotten over it i know how difficult writing about such a tender subject as this can be but you put this on here for a critique first off avoid cliches cliches are to be blunt cliche and they make a piece sound immature and elementary one line that strcuk me was "before i see your name in stone" i like it i dont know why. in the paragrah about you wishing he would awaken in the casket "i fooled you didnt i?" i thi...

I used to read sci-fi/ fantasy all of the time then i got into poetry and stephen king this makes me want to reenter the realm =] one thing i dont like which you really cant change is calling something a "Quest" even though that is essentially what it is it just bugs me for some reason. im speaking of in the character's dialoque like when they were talking about the accidents during training etc . . . that may just be a pet peeve of mine so disregard that if you want. the whole world staying ...