The idea is OK. I feel as though the relationships between inspiration/thought/expression and the struggle to strike a balance between them is somewhat skimmed over. I feel like there are some complexities on which you could elaborate."What is a poet without words?/It’s just like a singer /who isn’t heard/On stage exposed to the world/Mouth open with only air escaping" communicates the nudity required to create art but also the violation that comes as a result of that exposure or final produc...

I have to argue in favor of the structure of this piece. Where the Beats revitalized poetry as an art form through the liberties taken with typical grammar and syntax, they also pushed for the poet to express himself through his body and bodies of images and others etc. Testing bodies (the male, the gay, the consumer)--a strange look--of all kinds is appearent throughout your piece. The spacial content of the text is powerful this way. Just some awkwardness I feel--or redundancy?-- the second...

The diction is really spot-on in this piece. There is an interesting play on words, "where spoiled peaches line shelves" in reference to the arguing women, that I would really like to see worked into other lines of the poem. I do think that "flourescent hell" is a jarring statement, though I get the feeling that this is more of a "flourescent purgatory" with much white space and many figures interacting but ultimately alone. There is a strong sense of the passing of time here. In the rotting,...

This is the first time I have ever seen an interactive poem--and like all other interactive art--I love it! The lines are both vague and specific enough to be malleable. The imagery conveys that some sort of ambiguous signifigance to every line. The addition of dialogue or some sort of exclaimation would be interesting to me or a name or an allusion...something to really mark the piece but also give it room to grow. I also get the feeling of the prescence of a river or some dark water (from t...