pencil2008's profile
AGE:
31
LOC: Astoria, OR
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 19
LOC: Astoria, OR
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: June 19
Writing is my medicine. I have always believed that poetry should be like a snapshot, moment in time, putting the reader behind your eyes for a minute. And if all the images aren’t clear, that is okay too. I think sometimes we try to do too much with our poems, and that’s what other forms of writting are for. My poems/writting are extremely personal, dealing with deaths in the family, motherhood, loss, and other layered painful things. It’s seldom clear to me how I feel about these things and that is why I am here… to get it out and hope for transcendence, a little bit at a time.
Items
Version 1
1 Review
4 Comments
It overtook the port town Fog thick as busy streets Swirving down the curve to miss a dear What else was hiding in those hills? Not my dreams- that's a given, they're always around the corner. Something further in the bush deeper in this hanging like gallows for this place. The lingering of a life? You brought us here but it's me the haze is following.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
3 Reviews
0 Comments
The naked ladies across the street Speak to me of wasted time, As being just so much flamboyant embellishment, Of some reality, Paragons of the conventional, They urge me to cease My self-indulgence of using time to think, And putting off the ambitious, immediacy of reaction, And i want to vow to those I see blooming...to myself, To burst cleanly and quickly forth into my nowness... newness... An unencumbered, simplified future. But I fear I am too melencholy by nature, And i seem to attract ...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
8 Reviews
3 Comments
Dear Scott, The absence mocks our presence, a funny thing about the dead; in the wake of winding down I get closer to throwing my bed frame out the window. It's only about shedding; it's only what we think we know we've most forgotten and the stillness of your slumer haunts me now. I was lucky- too lucky- to grow up surrounded by beautiful things. Spoiled by your subtle funny ways; missing your embrace. I'm running out of hostages, scott, to fill another evening. Only those that aren't right ...
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Version 1
2 Reviews
5 Comments
Don't get yourself caught without something quick to say and don't stand so close to me Darlin', you might catch something. I thought hard enough to make myself dizzy, I cried through to meet the sun, and I drank long tall glasses of beer for what I don't know. I am alone here with no vice to face the morning. In the bible belt, conservatively settled. I need bohemia now.
Ratings & Rankings
Version 1
6 Reviews
6 Comments
I am Ophelia. I drown for reasons the world couldn't understand; I sink over loses out of my control. Pansies & daisies dress my corpse Fish naw my swollen fless and I lie silent.
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Reviews
11th&12th lines GREAT! I see & feel "blue death camp shoes", yes! Take "the" out of last two lines and it's like a bullet through the heart. Well done!
That is a poem. And not words passed over, 3rd&4th lines GREAT. May not need "the" in 6th line. I believe you may make the words bleed true!
This is cool, I like the feeling and the imagrey works for me. It gives me enough without forcing. The 4th stanza doesn't flow like the rest- or maybe with the rest. It's the only part I had trouble with. First and last stanzas are perfect.
Excellent. I feel for you. I hope you let us know how it went..this is a year old, right? OK, I'm not great at grammar either, but def. need to work out some punctuation. I think 4th line starts powerful and I would change the punctuation like this to make it flow better: "...happened. I still...." "...justice. They never ...this, they never said.." I would make "I really couldn't talk," into "I couldn't talk." to give that feeling it's deserved weight. "myself" should be "me". You don't need...
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