penultimatum's profile

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AGE: 23
LOC: Dallas, TX
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: August 06

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Poetry / No title
Version 1
1 Review   0 Comments
The tangy, salty smell of beer and sweaty sex saturates our small spaces, with each kiss we celebrate obscenity and serendipity; how happy we are to have we are, on torso and hips and your breath on my tongue, hot and copper, over and over, and I'm not even a good... fuck. My rhythm slips and I'm only 6 inches, there's nothing to brag about. Sometimes I wonder if I have halitosis, or maybe I shouldn't have been circumcised, or I masturbate too much so it takes too long to orgasm. I always liv...
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Poetry / No title
Version 2
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We'll call it art no matter what, goddammit, just bullshit it, in articles and internet, til the compliments whirl round our circle. Aesthetic laid to rest; its subtlety and grace will rot and we'll all stand at the funeral with properly somber protests and grim faces. It's all a fine point. But, I'm still trying to think up things to write that you don't already know. Because you know it. We all know it. It's in slow sighs, soft critics, the idea that all opinions are all equal, and dog-eare...
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Poetry / No title
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
We'll call it art no matter what, goddammit, just bullshit it, in articles and internet, til the compliments whirl round our circle. Aesthetic laid to rest; its subtlety and grace will rot and we'll all stand at the funeral with properly somber protests and grim faces. It's all a fine point. But, I'm still trying to think up things to write that you don't already know. Because you know it. We all know it. It's in slow sighs, and dog-eared pages of old, old, books falling apart, and keeping vi...
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Poetry / No title
Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Sitting in the cell I had a dream, of psuedopods, stretching forward, not feet but a close facsimile, the tendrils stretching between all the cities and vast spaces, cringing with the birth and stretch, slowly bleeding, slowly absorbing, the water, residue, nutrients and faces, moving, moving, moving, always moving. I am only one toenail's cell feeding, did you know you suckle on the nipple next to me? We have freedom in our stretching, freedom, purely defined, being pursuit of these nothing ...
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Version 1
0 Reviews   0 Comments
Don't know where is where. Gotta find how to be be, how is is why could could where should should be. When was, was? Only a moment before we all saw a small child, breathless, foggy gasps a grey ethereal plume cresting forth to the open sky from snotty lips, cold breeze sticking to the neck like wet sand, while behind the ears a chill approaches. Sleep more, flickers of your life merely snapshots left in careless abandon. Chests swell or become stout, voices rise and lower, we sing songs in c...
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Removed
It made me consider an alternate point of view, and it was great poetry. But honestly I disagree, the poor are exploited anywhere and everywhere. It's why they're poor, that's really my only contention. And we always live more passionately than those comfortable and secure people, monetarily or otherwise, it's the only thing we've got. Growing up poor in a suburb or a city is pretty shitty too, just in a different way. You have swampshit, we have trash in gutters and piss in our elevators. Fe...
Poetry / Ambien
I like it. Topical, but honest and intense, so it's not just some soundbite blip, or something with only contemporary value. This is poetry that reflects the time we live in, but only because it's a piece of your life. I would like to say it's great word usage (that phrase gets thrown out a lot and usually I don't understand what people mean by it in reference to the poem) because the words used have definite meaning. The ending is perfect for the tone of the poem, too, I think that was my fa...
Poetry / Cognitive Porch
I had a hard time connecting with it. The pastoral sense is lost by the simplicity of the introspection, with the simplistic and static rhyme scheme thrown into the mix, it's like a Longfellow with an incredibly reduced vocabulary, and no desire to show any meaning.
I like it. The rhymes are poignant and playful at the same time, reminds me of Ogden Nash. There isn't a wasted moment, and it does make you skip lightly to the beat. The whole construction is perfect, it falls just short of satirical, it's still friendly but frankly questioning. I think my favorite part of this, though, is that it succinctly appeals to, or at the least includes, many different tastes in poetry, while maintaining the solid theme. Short, sweet, and to the point.
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