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AGE: 24
LOC: Leola, PA
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 05

Please read the KM series and let me know suggestions on how to improve it, add content, character depth, etc.

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Novel Treatments / Kelia Morgan Ch 5
Version 1
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Avant Garde the Story of Kelia Morgan *Chapter 5* - - - - - - - - - - - - Kelia was twenty now. And feeling like she wished she was Jonathan’s girlfriend instead of Lissa. Lissa was one of her commanding officer’s (CO’s) in cadet training. She nicknamed Kelia, Private Petty after one of Lissa’s friends who “was never wrong.” Though whenever Kelia was called to explain to other CO’s under roll call why she was called Private Petty she would call back “because she’s always right.” It annoyed Li...
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Novel Treatments / Kelia Morgan Ch 3 & 4
Version 1
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Avant Garde the Story of Kelia Morgan ****Chapter 3 &4***** - - - - - - - - - - - Kelia stood clutching her books and pencils. Her hair down, held back with a navy blue headband. L’Andruçe folded his newspaper in half and then in half again. Tucking it under his arm, he knelt down in front of Kelia. “Ready for school?” “Of course, monsieur,” Kelia curtsied. Actually she dipped low to look like a curtsy as her right foot itched the back of her left calf. She was excited to go to a new school, ...
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Novel Treatments / Kelia Morgan
Version 4
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Avant Garde the Story of Kelia Morgan ****This is the beginning of the story. ***** It was a dark night. And cold as the rain thundered across the red light district. “Aw, mon cherie, go back to sleep. You’re mother has company. She doesn’t need you standing in the hallway.” The woman with untidy hair, ran her warm porcelain hand down Kelia’s chin. She giggled as the man swaggered her into the bedroom. “Erm, who’s that? Is she here for the show?” He grunted through teeth clenching a smoking c...
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Novel Treatments / Phi: Eva Marcinkowitz (exerpt)
Version 1
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Eva Marcinkowitz Jonathan drummed his fingers on the wooden arm. He sat in his study looking across at a picture of her. She was pretty: her dark blonde hair (a shimmering wet slate gray in the blak and white photograph) framed her rounded face. Her eyes sparkled to him. He sighed. Trying to forget the images in his head. The screaming, the smell of burning flesh, and the look of desperation in her face. Yet he felt somehow she had survived. That she was alive. No. Her ashes were scattered al...
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Poetry / Reminisce
Version 1
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As I sit and watch you sleep-- Your hazel eyes, your soft skin-- I often wonder how it could have been Had you said no. You are my best friend, My most treasured companion, My everlasting light-- The one who loves me for who I am. You are my inspiration, My aspiration-- And I love you. Kelly Ammon
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Lyrics / Untitled 6-4-08
Sometimes in a moment you can write a piece that truly captures emotions in words, as you have. The feelings of anger, frustration and pain is shown clearly through your lines. Although I think you should add one more verse to the end. The lyrics would seem more balanced and the resolution/end would leave the reader satisfied.
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Made me smile and laugh. Which is exactly what writing can sometimes be like.
Non-fiction / Six Word Memoir
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