phalanx149's profile

phalanx149 avatar
AGE: 28
LOC: Caledonia, MI
GEN: Male
LAST LOGIN: September 16
Item Stats
Reviewer Stats
Items
Version 1
5 Reviews   2 Comments
We can make you better than you were born. Smarter. Healthier. More productive. Eight hours of sleep per day. Fifteen minutes of rigorous calisthenics after rising and before going to bed. Your meal plan calls for plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, high fiber, and a glass of soy milk three times per day. (No dairy or refined sugar.) Wash down your vitamins, prescription medications, and preservatives. Press your clothing and use generous amounts of starch. Kiss younger daughter on your wa...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 4
4 Reviews   3 Comments
In a miniature imitation world before a plastic light-up television set a somber solitary woman blankly stares. Every day she drives to a miniature school which teaches plastic manufactured ideas convincing every one what they think is right. It tries her endurance. In a miniature apartment building surrounded by plastic Ever-Green trees an affable self-sufficient man solemnly dwells. Every day he works in a miniature department store which sells plastic manufactured ideals convincing every o...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 2
3 Reviews   1 Comment
In a miniature imitation world before a plastic light-up television set a somber solitary woman blankly stares. Every day she drives to a miniature school which teaches plastic manufactured ideas convincing every one what they think is right. It tries her endurance. In a miniature apartment building surrounded by plastic Ever-Green trees an affable self-sufficient man solemnly dwells. Every day he works in a miniature department store which sells plastic manufactured ideals convincing every o...
Ratings & Rankings
Version 3
0 Reviews   0 Comments
In a miniature imitation world before a plastic light-up television set a somber solitary woman blankly stares. Every day she drives to a miniature school which teaches plastic manufactured ideas convincing every one what they think is right. It tries her endurance. In a miniature apartment building surrounded by plastic Ever-Green trees an affable self-sufficient man solemnly dwells. Every day he works in a miniature department store which sells plastic manufactured ideals convincing every o...
Ratings & Rankings
Poetry / "EMP"
Version 4
2 Reviews   0 Comments
Winter envelops all. The viciously stoic Winter. Bitter breezes blow virgin formations across the cheerless diorama. Ice statues absorb desolation through vacant eyes. Siren laughter freezes quiet. Icicles contort chilled hearts. And this is to attempt journeying beside you across the white wasteland. This is to attempt supporting you. The crystalline core pulses this emission through the static storm to your reception. Will a reflection reply return..? Winter encases all. The vicious necessi...
Ratings & Rankings
Reviews
Young Adult / Addicted
This was a very interesting read. The style is very free-flowing and intimate - like the author is confessing her disease to someone she's been dating for a month. Very good indeed. I disagree with the other reviewers who have stated that it isn't believable - I believed this girl's plight with all my heart. It doesn't take something drastic to set somebody off onto a path of self-destruction: this society has so many novel pressures that are placed on our youth that I am certain there is a g...
Not much to say on this one. I hear the message, but this poem is brief and obscure enough that it won't win anybody over to the green side. I like some of the references - like moving from smooth shaven to Humbert Humbert. However, I'm having the trouble connecting an obsession with youth and shaved genitals as a cause for deforesting Gaia. Maybe elaborate a little more on why they are connected, if they even are. This was a short, humorous read that required some thinking, but is worth it i...
Poetry / Letter to TSP
This is a great read. It's bitingly funny in a matter of fact sort of way. Like, you're showing a side of reality people never see, and it's amusing to you, so you're displaying it for the rest of us who would probably never have the privilege. The subject matter will most likely turn many off, but I personally find humanity in those people in extreme situations - like a transsexual. A little nit-picking here: "the wrong dosage and medication", would it suffice to say only "the wrong medicati...
Novel Treatments / This Time Tomorrow
I can't believe anyone would tell you to "give up" on this talent that you have. You're seventeen and writing prose like a jaded thirty year old divorced mom of two who was just fired for taking home a pencil. Just imagine what you will be able to do when you really are thirty.:) But you do have a journey ahead of you to get there. There are brilliant, original moments in this piece. Let me start with that, but move on to what I didn't like. The first paragraph doesn't have the feeling of the...
Poetry / You Know
This is great. It's funny because in my relationship, I'm the one who says, "You know.." and my wife is the one who says "So." to signal a Big Topic coming up. This was a fun read - something only those in a long-term serious relationship will understand. I suggest taking out the "always" from "It was always a danger signal" and "you can run but it will always be faster." It will add to the immediacy of the poem, the "oh, shit here it comes" factor, otherwise it feels more like you're simply ...