piper1468's profile
AGE:
19
LOC: Auburn, NY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 23
LOC: Auburn, NY
GEN: Female
LAST LOGIN: September 23
Hi, my name is Elisabeth. I’m always reaching for the stars and looking for new experiences. I decided that I would try Urbis out. I love this site because it allows me to vent in a safe and personal way. Even though some may think that my writing is more meant for a diary type of publishing, I’ve put it here because I want to see if others can understand my point of view.
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A new arrival A new choice A new path A new furture Racing through my head Thoughts of you Thoughts of what could be Thoughts of us A new light A new star A new partner A new life Racing through my head Thoughts of your dream Thoughts of my dream Thoughts of our life A new beginning A new middle A new end A new story
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This horrible disorder that holds me back Dragging my life in the wrong direction When activities come and go I'm missing life's opportunities Ignoring the problem at hand Wanting everything to be how it used to be Trying to overcome the accident that took my freedom The one thing that allowed me to be happy However, anxious and yet so nervous as the day falls near Having the desire to run so far Although knowing it will help As time goes on, I realize that I should go after al this Chasing t...
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Maybe a clean break is what we need to be free from all the greed Maybe we need to let go before we begin to slow Maybe in this life I cannot be your wife Maybe now, there's some pain but in the long run, it will help keep us sane Maybe this decision will be our last incision
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The clouds drift by, one by one large andyet so, so far away they protect all that's good The clouds drift by, one by one she sits on them she watches me she prays for me, and she always within me The clouds drift by, one by one he sits on them he watches me he prays for me, and he's always within me The clouds drift by, one by one they wanted what's best for me they loved me, and they cared for me, and they always did what they thought was right for me
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The comfort of which I want is what you are afraid to share Your mind so undefined Not ready to let go Held behind by someone who is not there Blind to those who are Let out your fears and set yourself free Find sincerity in the arms that wait and open your heart to new love
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this is so true. I love this because you have hit all the correct points. I just wish that it wasn't always true.
I really like this piece. Even though it is clearly talking about a bird, I actually can find other meaning in it's words. Well written and good job! In the line, "at strange and open skies" you might want to put a 'a' in front of the word 'strange'. Just a tip.
50.0% Review Quality (2 Votes)
I like how you had rhyming ending lines. That's always good in a poem. I thin that in the line "You gotta curse the day for it’s nothing but a merciless light", you should spell out 'got to' instead of writing 'gotta'. this is a good poem, I just don't understand the last stanza. otherwise, good job!
I love this. It is very touching. I think that the comma in the line, "That you were coming, home to stay." should be placed after 'home' instead of 'coming'. I understand why you would cry about the good news but I don't understand why you said 'Goodbye my hero'. It is an AWESOME piece. Good job!
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